Seduction for Introverts

Tombstone31 · 2014-05-05T17:19:46+00:00

I'm an introvert and do great at bars. I use it to my advantage and can get away with things my really extroverted friends can't.

But I agree with the sentiment here; you definitely don't have to force yourself to be an extrovert to get girls.

Allen_Yuan · 2014-05-06T04:57:56+00:00

You need to own whoever you are and not try to force yourself into being something you aren't. That's my gripe with the social skills/seduction community, it tries to pigeon hole you.

K04free · 2014-05-05T15:30:52+00:00

Most people on here are looking for sex. Clubs/Bars are the easiest places to get sex.You seem to be looking for a deeper connection, like that of a long term relationship.

Wabbstarful · 2014-05-05T23:52:14+00:00

If only I had all the money and time to pick up these classes or hobbies...

Man0peace · 2014-05-05T19:20:19+00:00

I find that many self-proclaimed introverts lose energy in high-stimulus environments because they are outside of their comfort zone and lose state. I'm convinced that, generally speaking, if they knew how to pump their own state and self-amuse, they would stop being "introverted".

You should strive to keep your mood as independent from the environment as possible. Obviously this is an idealized, romantic goal, but IMO, going against this ideal reflects a lack of self-control. Self-amusement and frame control are very important when it comes to PUA. It's something that absolutely needs to be handled.

WhyAmIEvenHereOMG · 2014-05-05T22:09:41+00:00

I think it's important to be aware of where you land on the introvert extrovert scale when you delve into this to manage expectations, but at the same time be aware not to allow yourself to be boxed in by it.

Personally, I did not like that book at all. I felt I related to it at first, but then it kept on droning on and on about how we'll never be as sociable as extroverts. I felt it was limiting rather than empowering. Sure we have limits compared to extroverts but it doesn't mean we're doomed socially.

NotTheGuyIUsedToBe · 2014-05-05T15:35:33+00:00

Introvert and Extrovert is a bunch of bullshit.

You can be whoever you want to be if you put the effort into it.

XeroMotivation · 2014-05-06T09:38:59+00:00

Being an introvert doesn't mean you don't enjoy going to bars it just means it's more tiring.

8Pryme · 2014-05-05T17:51:02+00:00

I believe that the only limitations that genetics give you are physical, like height as /u/Apfelmann said. Personality is for the most part just a result of experience. I'll give the extreme example of serial killers: they're not born, they're made/raised. Same goes for introverts and extroverts (which I think is much too black-and-white;) it depends almost solely on how that person grew up. Were they bullied? Spoiled? Cheated on? Surrounded by drugs? These experiences will completely shape a person as they grow.

I was often alone while growing up so you could say I became a very shy introvert, but in high school I was an extremely obnoxious class clown, the absolute center of attention. Why? Because I wanted to be that way, and I was willing to put up with the shit that would push me down. As /u/NotTheGuyIUsedToBe said, anyone can be whoever they want if they put the effort in.

So saying that the world is mostly run by extroverts while introverts struggle and that "once an introvert always an introvert" is a load of poop. I have a friend that, all his life, has been trying to not be someone he's not (trying to be who he is). He wouldn't let anyone change him. But he was so focused on being who he thought he was that he never let himself have any fun.

You can be whoever/whatever you want. If you're a shy dude but want to have fun at clubs then go do it. No one says that you're permanently a club bro now; you can still be a shy calm guy whenever you like. I don't know why people love to polarize things like "introverts vs. extroverts." Just do what you want.

recyclablebantha · 2014-05-10T07:35:54+00:00

And the PUA/Seduction gurus are extroverts that are trying to teach introverts how to be extroverts.

Well, from my personal experience and from what I've read, it's impossible; once an introvert always an introvert.

I don't agree. Seduction is about being social. So like it or not, if you want to seduce, you have to be social. The extroverts are not trying to change the introverts, they're trying to teach them how to overcome their internal focus, which cuts them off from the people around them and hinders connection with new people.

Doing those things does not require changing someone's basic nature at all. I know plenty of people who are able to shift gears for short periods of time. I've even seen a few talks from professional PUAs who are more introverted. (James Marshall being a big one.) And it can be done. An introvert might need alone time to recharge, but they CAN, for short periods of time, put their focus on the outside world long enough to be social and seduce well.

Fear not, put it to your advantage. If you are really an introvert, do you really want to find a girl in a bar/club? Approach her, deal with the shit test, #-close her, k-close her, and more? I know I am stereotyping here, but What would you have in common?

Guess what? Just like there are so many Introvert guys who feel like a fish out of water in bars/clubs; there are just as many Introvert girls who would like to find a guy like you, but such meeting of the minds won't happen in a bar/club. So go where your ideal girl would go: gaming conventions, meetups of various kinds, cooking classes, art classes, you name it, just go and do those activities not because of the girls, but because you love to do those activities, and once there, try and be social, no need to be the life of the party What brought you here? is a good opening; then go with the flow.

You just changed the subject. You were talking about extroversion vs introversion and you started talking about interests and hobbies. Which is fine. I agree that people who don't like clubs, shouldn't try to pick up on girls there. But that has NO direct connection with introversion or extroversion. Plenty of those people can be found at clubs or gaming conventions.

There is no way to use "introversion" to one's advantage in seduction. Introversion is "the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life." Which is clearly at odds with seduction, which is about being social. You can't be social with people if you are preoccupied with your own thoughts. It's the Introvert's task to overcome their own tendency to be focused inwards, so they can interact with people who are outside of themselves in the real world. Period.

Diece · 2014-05-07T05:11:50+00:00

On the topic of extroverts/introverts.

Extroverts want to be more introverted

Introverts want to be more extroverted

So it doesn't really matter what you are because either way you want to have the tendencies of your opposite. For example I suck dick at analyzing shit and being alone. I wish I could be more introverted because then I could have fun alone.

2014-05-05T15:52:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Seduction for Introverts
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	81
Comments	38
Date	May 5, 2014 2:47 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/24s0xu/seduction_for_introverts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seduction-for-introverts.1302349 https://theredarchive.com/post/1302349

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