should i lower my standards ?

white_gelt · 2015-08-06T20:43:12+00:00

You're doing something wrong on these insta-dates if they aren't wanting to see you again and it doesn't sound like it has anything to do with the girls' looks. You're getting the insta-dates, which isn't easy to do, but you're losing them during that date.

Morokweng · 2015-08-06T22:56:36+00:00

I would guess from your post that the problem is that you have horribly low self-esteem, and no amount of superficial 'game' is going to cover it up for you. You feel lonely in the evenings, girls can detect that, it's called desperation. Whenever you talk to a girl she can tell that underneath your pickup lines you desperately want her to pay attention to you and approve of you.

What do you think is more likely? That every girl in Brussels is 'bitchy', or that there's something they don't like about you?

You need to fix your self-esteem, you need to stop hating yourself, you need to stop looking for fulfilment outside of yourself. You think that everything in your life is going to fall into place and be perfect as soon as you get a girl to fuck you? It won't. Sex isn't a soluton, it just brings more problems, especially if you're an emotional fuckup.

Its completely unacceptable to consider lowering your standards to date girls that you're not attracted to. You're going to go from hating yourself, to settling for table scraps... while hating yourself. A scrap of affection, or a scrap of sex, all from a woman who's probably just as emotionally fucked up as you are. And you're going to wallow in that quagmire of a relationship because you won't think that you can do any better. That's not going to help you in the long run.

Read these and see if they help.

https://7chan.org/lit/src/Robert_Glover_-_No_More_Mr_Nice_Guy.pdf

http://www.pdf-archive.com/2015/02/18/models-mark-manson/

PUA_101 · 2015-08-07T03:09:49+00:00

My strong advice to you would be to try to find a mentor, or if you can't find one, at least get a good wing. There are lots of forums online where you can meet people, such as Simple Pickup and RSD inner circle on facebook. It's tough going it alone all the time because it's hard to critique yourself, and you keep making the same mistakes over and over. A wing, even if their game sucks, will usually at least be able to notice things that you can do better.

At the very least, I think you need to A) learn to love yourself as some other people have already commented and B) take as much of an objective look at your interactions as possible and be willing to be brutally honest about with yourself about what you're doing wrong.

The ego is a sneaky thing that doesn't want to die and I've seen this play out before, people will go out all the time, but they won't break down their interactions, and they basically keep doing the same thing over and over and over. Why would anyone do this? The ego doesn't want you to change, but it senses that You want to change, so it plays a trick on you. When you go out all the time and approach, it really feels like you're taking action and making progress, so the part of you that wants to change can look at that and say hey look, I'm changing! Meanwhile, you're not moving any closer to the results you want, and what happens when most people don't see any progress? They get discouraged and quit. It sounds to me like your ego is holding you back from getting the things you want in life and man, you deserve to have them!

Dilaf · 2015-08-06T20:29:29+00:00

No, you deserve there best

heretogetbetter · 2015-08-07T00:35:50+00:00

If they are tourists, than aren't they leaving soon?

Spacedust_ · 2015-08-07T03:00:27+00:00

No dont lower your standards, there is no point being with someone that you are not attracted to , you will be unhappy and will be back to square 1 after you get laid with her couple of times...

Your feelings needs to be genuine and you gotta be honest. Read the Models if you havent done so.

I know it is hard, I am in a similar situation as well. but you need to make a better social circle, you need to have other hobbies besides daygaming and video games so you can have an awesome life then women will follow.

The whole game/seduction thing is not only about approaching , in long run you will see that clearly.

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3ft9g2/frustration_level_reaching_alltime_high/

CrushHazard · 2015-08-07T09:55:43+00:00

Start going out to bars and hanging out with guys who are your age for a while. it will probably become really obvious what you are doing wrong in a very short period of time.

I agree with all the other comments. You are building initial attraction well (getting insta-dates is not easy for most guys) but you are doing something later on that turns them off.

psychedelia_91 · 2015-08-06T20:35:16+00:00

It's just like any other game. You have to start at level 1, beat it then move onto the next level.

ClassicGoth · 2015-08-07T00:49:22+00:00

Do you know the kind of girl you're looking for? Make yourself the kind of man that she's attracted to.

Turn yourself into a project that you work on every day, and enjoy spending time with yourself or friends while you do it.

Besides, 4s and 5s have a ludicrously inflated sense of self worth, due to online losers who are constantly shotgunning compliments at them.

KawnN · 2015-08-07T02:18:33+00:00

have you ever quited from your favorite video game ? me, personally played too much dota 2. I would play every day dota 2 no matter how much frustration I felt.

Day by day I made progress by only playing, It was happening subconsciously. "Quitters never win, winners never quit."

novaksnow · 2015-08-07T14:36:31+00:00

Im a little like you.

Consider night game if you live near nighclubs. Also work on yourself. Do hobbies, interests, travel, read, stop watching tv and playing video games (gonna be criticized here), work your body (jogging, swiming, any sport, gym, etc..), dress better and get a haircut(malefashionadvice and malehairadvice), be good smelly (perfume, deohdorant, cologne), talk more to unkown people (even guys), make more friends, learn the rules of the game (study this shit like i do) and have life objectives (building a product, starting a company, be the best where you work, make a movie etc....).

All this makes you better. And you want to be better, cause the first person who has to love you is yourself, only after come the girls. Thats a lesson i already learned.

All this im trying my best to fullfil so we are on the same road man. Keep your shit together, and go see some RSD videos for game and most important go out of your confort zone and get the fuck out of home.

And dont think of this so seriously, have fun like I do. The other day I was flirting with a not so beautifull girl. It was fun, I didnt wanted to go further than that but what I was doing was actually very funny so I had a great time. Have fun in life.

EDIT: Consider summer shows cause are great way to meet girls.

Skippy244 · 2015-08-06T20:42:30+00:00

if you cant get any girls in public try tinder or online..

Title	should i lower my standards ?
Author	Zanzir64
Upvotes	15
Comments	19
Date	August 6, 2015 7:51 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3g1l3y/should_i_lower_my_standards/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-i-lower-my-standards.1392147 https://theredarchive.com/post/1392147

Comments