So, how to start approaching?

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2026-01-16T19:37:43+00:00

At 19, i think you first need to understand that you dont know how to flirt and that's ok. Most people your age do not know how to flirt even the ones you think do. Dont let that get to you. I say that because you will fail 1000x times and only see a few successes. Even the best flirters fail a lot still. They jus tkeep trying and learn from their mistakes.

- First off, you have to increase the opportunities of meeting people (men and women). I would say start changing your routine. Whatever youa re doing now isnt getting you a GF so you need to start doing things that make you more insterested. Because you have a routine that has provben that you wont get a GF with. Maye you do but the odds are low. When i was 19, i was always hanging around family. WHo was i going to meet with family? nobody. I would say start doing what people your age are doing to meet new people. Maybe try a networking event, download the meetup app (it's an app meant for people to meet). And in those events walk up and talk to people. The idea is to get comfortable with meeting strangers because for any GF you get, she will be a stranger at one point. The idea is to have a converation with someone and expect nothing in return. Becuase once you expect something or hope for a number and make that the goal of a conversation you come off as desperate. Make your goal to meet new poeple, again guy or girl. If you enjoy a conversation, get their number. Then on the weekend try to organize a get together adn text everybody. Even if only men show up that's a new connection that could lead you to another connection with a girl.

- Know that social skills is the #1 way to get a girl. For me i used to walk up to a girl and be nervous and try to be really nice to them to get them to like me. That doesnt work becuase it is not genuine. I was acting like i wanted to be their friend when in reality i didnt. So what i started to do was treating them mor elike bros. Like id make jokes like i was shooting the shit with my friends. If she made a snarky remark, i responded with a snarky remark but i made it playful. I also hyped them up. If i saw a girl wearing a hat, id hype it up and tell her how good it looks and even ask where she got it from. Because that's probably an outfit choice that she wasnt sure would do well or not so im giving her that validation.

- How you look does help too. The better you look the less personality ou need but dont think that getting a 6 pack will get girls to kiss your feet. You still have to have personality. It's not about earing clothes that fit, it's about waring clothes that make you look good. If you have any females ask them what you look good in. For me a lot of women said i looked good in black, wearing hats and growing my beard. So i did all 3. You dont ahve to break the bank, go to old navy and amazon. I bought a really good bomber jacket from amazon that i love from an off brand compoany. Everybody says i look good in it. Wear cologne more often. If you dont, get a good haricut (most likely a skin fade). Grow a beard if you can.

- Go where the single girls are at. Maybe you dont like this but you gotta go to bars/clubs and take risks. I hated these places because i fell for the whole "you can't find a wife" in these places. But actually you can, good girls like tpo party too. I didnt like to drink either but i decided to try it out and i enjoy it now. I dont love it but i enjoy it. Invite friends to do it.

- DOnt lean on friend for conversation. When you get to a party or get togheter. Dont immediately just stay near your friends all night. Branch out, meet new poeple that's what these parties are for. Girls like a guy who can be a social butterfly and seem like he doesnt need other people for his own enjoyment.

- Go out for your own enjoyment. If you go out adn get 0 numbers, that shouldnt be the recipe for a good or bad night. Go out becaus eyou want to hangout with your friends and have a good night. Part of that fun could be talking to strangers. Dont go up to a girl thinking "i need her number", go up to her because you are having a fun time and she looks cute and you want to see where it goes.

- Read body language. This is something people have forgotten about. A girl will tell you a lot through her body language. If she seems distant, hesitant in anyway, wlak away. But also you have to be a little risky if she seems open. Star twith physical touch, keep getting closer adn closer until she pulls back. The second sh epulls back walk away. Like if you are at a club, go to the first single girl you see, pull your hand out and see if she takes it. If she does, dance with her, get clsoer adn closer. Go for the kiss if you are close enough, but if she in any way seems like she is pulling back, dont do it and step away. Life is about taking risks and a girl will let you know way before that if she is ok with it or not.

ApprehensiveSyrup839 · 2026-01-16T19:12:00+00:00

Look for something you genuinely like on a girl i.e clothes, hair, shoes, style and build of that. Don't tell em theyre beautiful

norwegiandoggo · 2026-01-16T19:22:17+00:00

Try to engage in small talk in public with strangers in general. This will improve your confidence and skill of "talking to strangers".

You will usually have a good start at this if you just give strangers compliments. Get quite comfortable with talking to strangers, and talking to girls to hit on them is very similar. Just add a bit of teasing / playing hard to get, while you engage her - and aim for an instant date or contact info.

Chicagoj1563 · 2026-01-16T22:53:00+00:00

Try to think of the most basic thing you can do. Just say hi and offer a compliment. I like your shoes, or I like your style, or whatever. Then say "Have a nice day" and walk off. If you feel inclined, keep the conversation going.

After you have done this for a bit, start writing field reports. These are journals you write about your interactions and what you need to improve on. This is what it all comes down to. Strike up conversations, do your best, then later think about how you can improve. Go back out again, make one or two adjustments, see how it goes. Repeat the process.

You likely don't need any advice. Just do approaches, learn, adjust, keep doing approaches. Keep it fun.

ScientificArtichoke · 2026-01-16T19:00:57+00:00

Just go to a girl and say hi 😂

bishesbcrazy · 2026-01-16T22:25:20+00:00

Learn to dance. Find a dance (pick a type of music you prefer to move to) that teaches a basic lesson. Take the basic lessons even if you know the dance so you can rotate to meet new people. Every time you rotate to a new person you get practice with short introductions and you make basic physical contact which really helps mentally later in your development. Don’t try to be anyone or do anything that’s not you- just be authentically you. Then go home after the dance ends and work on becoming the “you” you want to become.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2026-01-17T00:40:27+00:00

Step 1 is have an active social life. If you make friends easily that will make approaching a lot easier.

Title	So, how to start approaching?
Author	Goku_Fanboi_
Upvotes	16
Comments	10
Date	January 16, 2026 6:53 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1qeooyl/so_how_to_start_approaching/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-how-to-start-approaching.1571297 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571297

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