𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐭. + Some mindsets from Arnold Schwarzenegger applied to dating.

There are two ways that you can go about talking to women.

The first is what most guys do: They need the result RIGHT NOW. They are in deep pain, deeply unsatisfied with their current life situation.

They don’t care about improving, or gaining skills.

They’ll do whatever it takes in order to get a girl to like them.

They don’t actually care about becoming a better person, or becoming more charismatic or magnetic for themselves. They don’t have aspirations or traits that they want to accomplish.

No.

Instead, there is just a goal. They NEED that goal. They’ll do whatever it takes to get the goal. Gimmicks, routines, micromanaging body language, you name it.

And if it doesn’t get them laid, they get frustrated: 𝘽𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣, 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙨𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙪𝙥 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚.

They set themselves up to judge whether what they’re doing was progress or not based on the results and outcomes.

The girls responses dictates their self worth.

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀, 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 “𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝗜 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹𝘀 𝗻𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 / 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝘁, 𝗼𝗿 𝗻𝗼𝘁. 𝗗𝗶𝗱 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝗲, 𝗼𝗿 𝗻𝗼𝘁.”

This is reactionary based. Every single action taken is a chore.

There is no fulfillment in growing, because there is no aspiration to be anything. Instead, there is just a deep need of an outcome.

The outcome of getting laid, the outcome of getting a girl to like them.

And every single time that expectation isn’t fulfilled, the work and energy they put in is otherwise worthless, because there is nothing gained from each action taken. The power of gratification is given to the girl.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦; if the girl decides to give them the outcome they desire, then they are happy. If not, they get deeply upset.

This mode of progression is toxic. Even though it does work, it is incredibly mentally draining, and results in a lack of consistency and immense frustration.

ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴇᴄᴏɴᴅ ᴡᴀʏ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜʏ, ᴏʀɢᴀɴɪᴄ ᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴀʟᴋɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ɢɪʀʟꜱ.

When I go out, 𝙄 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙨. Every moment of hesitation, every instance of anxiety is an opportunity to progress. Every person around me is an opportunity to express myself, and discover a world that is beyond my own.

I have no clue what adventures await, but I’m eager to find out.

Every girl I talk to makes me closer to my ideal self. I can work on whatever aspect of my personality I want to improve on with every conversation. If I feel my storytelling is lacking, then I can try to be passionate and descriptive about something that just happened to me. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐲, 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐀 𝐏𝐋𝐔𝐒.

Why?

Because I’m honing my skill. I’m honoring and gratifying myself. I’m doing something good for myself.

I’m inching myself to the ideal type of person I want to become.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was the same way. He said:

“People always came up to me: ‘Why are you smiling? You working out 5 hours a day, you doing the same as the other guys but the other guys have a sour face.’ They pissed off to have to do another rep or another set I look forward to, I look forward to another dozen of reps, I look forward to another 500 of leg raise or squat, I look forward to another curl until my arms fall off. Why? 𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗜 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗱, 𝗜 𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆. 𝗦𝗼 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁, 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗱, 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻’𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗼 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝘆𝗺.”

This is a winners mentality. This is the mentality of how to run a marathon.

Even though Arnold won five Mr. Universe titles, his sense accomplishment came from the daily grind.

This is the same way you need to go about talking to girls.

Instead of trying to win Mr. Olympia with every girl you talk to, and being frustrated and resentful when you don’t win, focus on gaining skills and becoming the ideal version of who you want to be. Hone your conversational and flirtatious muscles. Focus on building them: the championship will come naturally as a byproduct.

Game is just a platform to achieve the character traits you want. Those character traits are what will get you the girl.

When you talk to chicks with the sole purpose of results (and see the whole process as a chore) there is no winning.

Let go of the outcome, stop trying to control your interactions, and just work on your conversation skills. Work on being more masculine. Read books you like, talk about them. When you feel that you want to get sexual with a girl, go for it. Work on growing your courage. Every time you feel hesitation, ᴛʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ ᴀ ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀꜰᴜʟ ᴏᴘᴘᴏʀᴛᴜɴɪᴛʏ. Thats amazing. Because you can become someone greater within 2 seconds, if you choose the action to.

All of a sudden, you become a video game character. And instead of being upset that you aren’t the max level, you’ll start to enjoy the process of getting there. Increasing each skill up. Getting from level 4 to level 5.

The key to all this is being okay with your current situation. As long as you resent your current situation, it will be very hard to let go of the outcome.

Love you guys, wishing you the best during quarantine.

-Sean