I've been lurking in this sub for a few weeks now, but I'm finally able to contribute something to the community.

I'm 25. I'm an average looking guy. Average height as well. Been losing my hair since high school, so I just shave it now. I'm working on myself though. Been working out and getting results, but still a long way to go. I'm black so I'm wanting to upgrade to something like Mike Colter (played Netflix's Luke Cage). But enough about my stats, I just want to talk about my night.

I live in a college town and moving away in two months as I'm basically done taking classes. Before I go, I want to build some experience approaching women, and have at least one success.

My first attempt at conquering my approach anxiety two weeks ago was uneventful. I just walked into the hottest bar in town, sat down for like 10-15 min then left without speaking to a single person. I didn't feel the need to post on here about doing nothing.

Well, tonight I set a goal: Don't leave until you've spoken to at least 3 people. Doesn't matter who; guy girl, just talk to 3 people and that'll be the accomplishment for the night. When I arrived at the bar I started by lurking around. I was anxious. I didn't know how to insert myself into a random group of people SOBER. When I've been drinking, I'm the social butterfly type. But when I'm sober, if I'm allowed a moment to worry I spend that time worrying a lot. After deciding to take a seat at the actual bar section, before I'm able to take any real initiative a random guy starts talking to me and we start up an actual conversation. He introduces me to his group and then after a bit I basically become a part of his group. I wander around with him and meet several random guys who I don't really form any connections with (that sounded sus, but I'm just noting that I didn't make very good conversations). Things go off the rails a little bit and so I eventually start wandering around on my own. I get caught by another group of guys and start chatting them up. Detach, and ended up talking to another guy. See the pattern? Lol, but after doing this for over an hour it ended up working in my favor because after reconnecting with the first group, one of the guys asks me to help him get laid. Bro, that's why I'm here too! But it's easier to give advice than to practice it, so I tell him to just point to a girl and I'll be his wingman. He's lit himself, so I could tell there was really nothing he could do, but I try to help him anyway.

After pointing and then pussying out of approaching like 5 girls, I decide to take the initiative myself and see if he would follow me. But really, I just wanted to use it as an excuse to approach a girl I was interested in from an hour ago. She came in with a group of girls and only one guy. She was cute and seemed easy enough to approach. I addressed her whole group, minus the guy. He was sitting at the bar talking to other people. Opened with "hey, you guys look cute tonight. What's your name?" I get the names of one of the girls and the girl I'm interested in. The third one was talking to the guy, who was right behind me, so I gave up on her. I shake their hands and held them for as long as I could to try to thin the physical touch barrier as much as possible right from the start. After some more basic intro stuff, the third girl makes her way back into the group and starts passing everyone drinks. At this point, I felt the conversation was already falling flat as even before the sudden interruption I was still stuck in my head trying to figure out what to say to keep the conversation going. After watching drinks get passed around for about a minute, I decide I may as well see myself out. I wasn't confident I could focus attention back on myself and make it worthwhile.

That was the only attempt at making cold approaches for the night but I got a lot farther than I did last time so I chalk it up as a mission accomplished. In retrospect, I realize when talking to the girls, my body language could've used some work. It was loud and I was taller than them so I basically hunched over, facing directly towards them the entire time. They seemed receptive, but I could tell after a bit I wasn't going to get much more out of them than being friendly. And I think next time I'll walk to the bar so that I'm free to have a little liquid courage, just enough to not be anxious approaching even guys. I see one of the common tips in this sub is to first have fun for yourself and you'll look more attractive whenever you actually are talking to a chick. Last time I went out drinking with some friends, I was a cold approaching animal. I was too lit to make any real conversations but I definitely didn't bore any of the girls I talked to. What surprised me most though was how introverted I become in this sort of scene. I have no problems striking up conversations with people, but somehow going where a lot of people are drunk anyway and already warmed up to the idea of some rando coming up to them, I just shut down. But it's in knowing this why I want to keep going even more.

I want to try again tomorrow night. But if it ends up not happening, I'll make myself go out again next Friday.