Struggling to keep a conversation going in bars

vecter · 2025-01-13T22:21:56+00:00

Most likely you have the same issue as 99% of guys, which is having boring logical platonic conversation. Search on YouTube for how to flirt.

Prestigious_Water336 · 2025-01-14T04:20:25+00:00

Skip the boring stuff like what she does for work, where she's from, none of that really matters.

You need to tease her when you're talking to her. So you say stuff like "No way!" "get out of here" "Come on" "Really?" "I don't believe you."

Ask her what she likes to do for fun and then expand off of that. You could say "tell me more about that" or "How did you get started with that."

Be sure you're getting closer to her and making good eye contact. Make her laugh and smile and feel at ease.

When she just stares at you and smiles or looks down at your lips go for the kiss

Then go for the pull. In a soft sensual voice ask "What are you doing after this?". and if she says "nothing" say "I'd love to show you my house".

When you two are back home sit on the couch and talk for a bit. Just recap the night. Talk about the weird situations and goofy people you saw out that night. There's two main ways I like to transition from the talking to the sex. The more aggressive up front way I like to use is I like to say "I've been dying to know what kind of underwear you got on lol." And then if she laughs or smiles I start unzipping her pants and take them off. Then I take her by the hand and guide her to my bedroom and plop her down on the bed and then do whatever you wanna do to her. The second more subtle softer way to transition is to kiss her and then say "I'd love to show you my bedroom" then guide her to your room and start taking off her clothes. Thy both work but depending on the mood and vibe of the woman use your discretion for which style you wanna use.

This doesn't come overnight. Keep going out and grinding your social skills.

In summary the key takeaways are:

Keep it light and flirty. Don't talk about deep subjects or topics. Keep it relevant for the both of you.

Be sure to tease her (this is a big one). Give her some shit in a good way.

Sexually escalate by getting closer to her. You'll feel the vibe change when you do this.

When the time is right (you'll feel/know it) go for the kiss.

Be sure to always wear a condom.

Have fun!

Mc_Dickles · 2025-01-13T20:47:30+00:00

You're probably keeping the conversation too safe and not turning it up. You try to find something in common, and then try to use that to sell the idea that it was "meant to be" lol. Whether y'all have the same zodiac sign, you like the same music, pursuing the same career, I don't know just figure out how to make it hot.

burncushlikewood · 2025-01-14T04:06:24+00:00

I'll attempt to answer your question...what you're asking is one of the most fundamental aspects of seduction which is speech, also if you're trying to have long boring conversations in clubs and bars that's not a great approach, it's difficult to have conversations in loud environments. My suggestion is to focus on your body language, and also using mystery method in bars (preselection), if she sees you chatting up other girls and having fun that will help increase your value. The reason speech is so important is because it allows her to see what a relationship with you would be like, men who are good communicators are much more attractive. To improve your conversational skills I suggest reading a lot more and writing, and to practice speaking with girls, improvisation is key, you need to ask questions, be confident, relaxed, and funny, charming as well. There are many paths to take, you can be funny, you can be aloof, you could also say nothing at all but she feels comfortable around you because of your body control.

DaygameCode · 2025-01-13T19:47:33+00:00

When people say “just find a girl who is into you bro that way your lame social skills will not matter” they seem to ignore the fact that whole point of a seduction sub is to find ways to improve your social skills, your sense of humor, your banter, your witty responses, your jokes, your playfulness, your vibe… etc.

Playful banter doesn’t just happen by playing a numbers game until one clicks, it happens by learning how to communicate in a way that makes it easy for others to engage, laugh and feel intrigued by your presence.

It’s about creating an atmosphere where the conversation feels effortless, and mastering the art of reading the moment, teasing with confidence, and creating a dynamic where the conversation feels like a fun dance rather than a stiff exchange.

It’s not about finding a girl who just so happens to be so into you just by looking at you that she will excuse how boring you are, playful banter thrives when you master timing, curiosity, and the ability to spark intrigue with just the right mix of wit and charm. It’s about making the interaction feel like an inside joke only the two of you share.

Conversations that rely on generic small talk, like discussing the weather, often fail to create meaningful connections because they lack emotional depth or a sense of uniqueness.

Topics like the weather are neutral, predictable and don’t reveal anything personal or engaging about the people involved. They’re safe and because they’re so safe, they rarely spark genuine interest or curiosity.

When u start a conversation with generic shit, it just feels as though you’re just filling silence rather than trying to genuinely connect. This leaves the girl uninvested in the conversation because there’s no emotional spark to keep it going.

It doesn’t create a reason for the girl to care, remember u, or feel excited to talk to u again.

So you need to skip the small talk and go straight to something engaging, fun, challenging to create a memorable interaction.

Here is how a fun conversation can be started:

You: “I love that dress, i should wear the same dress some day too”

Her: “Oh yes I’m sure it would look great on you haha”

You: “Oh that accent. Please tell me you are not from the south”

Her: “Yeah, actually i am”

You: “Omg, i hate you…”

Her: “Why?”

You: “Because i love that strong accent. Now, I’m not gonna be able to stop listening to you speak for hours.”

Her: Haha, I don’t think I have that much of an accent

You: “Ssssh don’t lie to me, you sound like a secret spy from the south trying to go undercover with no success”

Her: “Oh well maybe i am”

You: “Shit, and you’re totally investigating me huh? I didn’t know i was a wanted man in the south”

Her: “Well now you know haha, you scared?”

You: “Oh yes, I’m terrified! I knew i should have hidden all the bodies this morning”

Her: “An admission of guilt huh?”

You: “Hey, that’s a secret. If you tell, I’m kidnapping ur dog”

Her: “I don’t have a dog”

You: “OMG, you hate dogs too… That’s it we can’t be friends anymore”

Her: “Haha i don’t hate them, I just don’t have one.”

You: “Yeah yeah, you hate them, i can see it in your eyes that you’re totally a crazy cat lady

Her: “Omg haha noo… etc”

LeftPromotion4869 · 2025-01-14T01:53:22+00:00

Bro, just act like you're back in the school playground as a kid. Make statements, have assumptions, lightly tease and play stupid little games.

nintendoborn1 · 2025-01-15T14:14:05+00:00

Hitting a little close to home

Newtabs9 · 2025-01-13T18:03:02+00:00

Hopefully you get some good answers, but in my time I slowly came to realise that it was out of your control too an extent.

You need to find girls who are either very attracted to you (and so are receptive to the open and don't want you to leave and so carry their weight in the convo) or girls who are just very social and talkative etc. (more and more girls seem to lack fairly basic social skills nowadays due to the smartphone lol)

Ideally both!!!!

It really shouldn't be hard. If it's really hard and she's not really talking back, she's not ASKING YOU STUFF, etc, then it's likely she's neither of those things and you're best to get out of there and approach someone else

I don't really think you need 'good questions' and stuff. Conversations just tend to catch fire if there's some chemistry there and she's carrying her weight in the conversation and it's not just you talking too a brick wall. Even the best conversationlist in the world is gonna have a hard time if some mega hot 18 year old girl is more or less ignoring him

ps - in your example if girls are giving you IOI's or even approaching you(!) i'd be tempted to go fairly direct. It means you are giving yourself a shot at least, and it also could provide a 'direction' for the convo to go somewhere fun

Title	Struggling to keep a conversation going in bars
Author	Dnzgl
Upvotes	6
Comments	15
Date	January 13, 2025 3:45 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1i0gv03/struggling_to_keep_a_conversation_going_in_bars/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/struggling-to-keep-a-conversation-going-in-bars.1541283 https://theredarchive.com/post/1541283

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