[STUDY] Eye Contact, Intimacy, and Physical Proximity

JumpIntoTheMatrix · 2012-02-18T04:31:02+00:00

"Intimacy Equilibrium"!! this blew my mind!

So how do you move the Intimacy instead of keeping it at one stage?

frogma · 2012-02-18T06:25:07+00:00

I'm too lazy to look through the link, but this is beautiful, and happens to fit my opinion perfectly.

Too many people try to stress that you should constantly be making eye contact- while that definitely works in certain situations, in most cases IMO it's better to be looking away (it's a really easy way to qualify girls). You can't be looking away out of nervousness though (and I'd assume this study doesn't really account for these factors)- you gotta be looking away because you truly don't care all that much. If she's saying something that doesn't actually interest you, look somewhere else as if you're more interested in the environment or whatever that other thing is. Don't be a dick about it, obviously, but seriously- withholding eye contact is one of the best and easiest ways to qualify the girl, and consequently, one of the best/easiest ways to build attraction when you're doing it right.

There is more EC when less personal topics are discussed, and when the material is cognitively straightforward. There is less during unfluent and heistating passages.

This is where I don't agree at all. I mean I agree with their findings, but you shouldn't be following this "method." Specifically hold eye contact when she's talking about more personal shit. I guess essentially, hold eye contact when it isn't expected, and withhold eye contact when it is expected. Just try it a few times and see how much of a difference it makes. It's really powerful shit.

There is more eye contact if people like eachother, are cooperating rather than competing. There is less eC if there is tension in the relationship or if one has recently deceived the other.

You're probably just summarizing what they said, but again, in terms of how to it applies to seduction, don't be doing it the way they're talking about. You still generally want to make more eye contact than other people generally would. But you also usually want that tension. Tension's only bad when you make it bad. Make it good tension- sexual tension.

I dunno what they said about physical proximity, but my general rule is to basically be as close to the girl as possible when you're talking (at parties and shit like that, usually), but then also be purposely facing away from her and standing further away when you're "pushing" (but be closer when you're "pulling").

Subjects in groups... were least likely to speak to those nearest to them and most likely to address those two or three places away.

This is basically irrelevant. Unless the study is magically able to account for certain unquantifiable/unqualifiable behaviors, it doesn't really provide any useful information. Think of it this way- if you're standing in a group of people, you're more likely to be standing next to the people you know the best (maybe they're even your best friends), and less likely to stand near the people you know the least. In other words, you're gonna be more likely to talk to the people standing further away because you don't know them very well. That doesn't really mean anything in terms of seduction.

Edit: In simpler terms, this study is basically confirming a lot of the things Dale Carnegie said about social interaction. You can make friends really easily by following most of these things, but seduction is different. A lot of seduction concepts are counterintuitive, which means you generally want to be doing the opposite of what these studies are showing you (because it builds more tension, and that's usually exactly what you want to be doing).

Title	[STUDY] Eye Contact, Intimacy, and Physical Proximity
Author	sithyiscool
Upvotes	61
Comments	7
Date	February 17, 2012 10:02 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pugbj/study_eye_contact_intimacy_and_physical_proximity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/study-eye-contact-intimacy-and-physical-proximity.1328473 https://theredarchive.com/post/1328473

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