Texting vs in person

hunterpua · 2026-06-22T17:44:43+00:00

People need to remember why the common recommendation for texting is to keep it brief and infrequent instead of just blindly copying the practice.

The main reason is it's boring.

Another reason is it can make you come off as needy.

If you're in a circumstance where you can avoid both of those things, you can actually text more and it will benefit you.

For example, if you really get along well with a girl and she genuinely wants to keep talking to you, texting you won't be boring for her.

Most of the girls who ended up becoming my girlfriends stayed up until 2am texting me even when we've only gone on 1 or 2 dates.

And it's actually pretty easy to avoid coming off as needy even if you've texted her a lot.

No, it's not taking ages to respond.

It's rather only being available at a certain time and ending every conversation first.

You can actually respond in quick succession without any issues as long as she feels like it only happens at a certain time in the day, because that still indicates that you're prioritizing a bunch of other things and only giving texting that one timeslot.

And when you end every conversation first, that cements it and is probably even a stronger indication that you aren't needy than taking hours to respond, because you create the dynamic in real time, while she's still focused on you, that you're the one who gets to the point of wanting your conversations to end first.

It's especially impactful when you just leave her last message on read.

So you can text a lot, as long as the conversations you're having are actually meaningful.

But there's also no problem with texting only a little.

I've texted most of the girls I've been with quite infrequently, because I just didn't enjoy our conversations as much.

I might have one longer conversation setting up a date (if I hadn't already done so when we met) and then a few times in between then and the date I might drop in for a few minutes just talking about one of our commonalities, sending some memes, or sharing a social media post she might like.

Also, if we start having sex, my texting frequency basically drops off a cliff unless she wants to sext.

With the girls I didn't sext with I mostly texted them only to hang out again.

There were even girls who thought I ghosted them because I don't hit them up for over 2 weeks when I'm too busy to meet up in that time.

The only thing you would need to take into consideration is texting frequency before a first date.

If it's too infrequent, she can lose interest. Like if your date is in a week and you don't text her at all during that week.

But if you drop in 2 or 3 times in that week, you should be fine.

The main thing to understand is the nuance to this.

Texting a lot is not necessarily bad and texting a little is not necessarily good. Understand the reasons and the situations where each can be good instead of just over-generalizing.

Independent-Bad218 · 2026-06-22T17:44:28+00:00

In person is always better. You actually control the frame with non-verbals than verbals. You also miss a tone of information via texting (for example emotions reading).

All in all, when you meet her, there will be less distractions, you will be there for a purpose, and you can show your Game more effectively.

It is not even a question, texting is just a vehicle to the date.

norwegiandoggo · 2026-06-22T17:45:36+00:00

I don't worry about this. If I want to communicate I communicate.

This is one of those things that I consider "over-gaming". You're analyzing everything like a pick-me girl. Some things should be carefully considered. Not this.

duke_awapuhi · 2026-06-22T18:29:50+00:00

In person lets you know whether or not you really like someone in a way that texting just can’t. And there are conversations that need to be had in person, not over text. I think if you’re serious about someone you should at minimum make time for FaceTiming each other

Economy_Parsnip650 · 2026-06-22T17:27:55+00:00

I hate texting so do as little as possible. Would rather call them or FaceTime them.

I do think my lack of texting works, as it creates a natural hot/cold environment.

If I am busy at work, watching a film, at the gym or with a friend, I generally ignore my phone (other than initially loading spotify at the gym).

So I guess it’s relieving when I do respond.

Title	Texting vs in person
Author	BalenciLaurent
Upvotes	10
Comments	8
Date	June 22, 2026 5:15 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ucqpgm/texting_vs_in_person/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/texting-vs-in-person.1583391 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583391

Comments