The fine line between confidence and being an asshole

Woujo · 2016-06-19T02:41:28+00:00

The only problem is that I come across as an asshole especially when it comes to my opinions and views and I'm very blunt and sarcastic.

don't be like that.

You can be "confident" but still not do things you know people won't like

stilettonyc · 2016-06-19T04:48:54+00:00

Are you working on confidence or just being more extroverted? If you are trying to build rapport, get a date, or network professionally, then it is important to listen more than talk. This is the key to being confident- understanding that you shine the brightest when shining the light on others.

I have an intense personality and I have found that I yield the best results when I sit back observe and listen. I'm still being myself because I care and am interested in learning about the person I'm speaking with. I'm just keeping my thoughts and opinions on reserve.

BrettEllisDotNet · 2016-06-19T03:32:49+00:00

You will never impress everyone. Just be you - as long as you are honest about it I don't see any problem. Some people will think you're a douche, others will think you're awesome. You can't win them all.

Your job is to show up and be seen for who you are.

If you're being a dick, then apologise. If they're overly sensitive then they can beat it.

YeahNahfuckOptus · 2016-06-19T16:10:26+00:00

I'm an ex-asshole. I used to be in similar situations as you. Funny thing is, I'm still the same as far as my direct-ness in saying things but a simple tweaks I made turned me from being an asshole to being someone with a blunt way of saying things. Some things that helped me:

Don't give out your opinion unless asked for it: If you know your opinion is going to be controversial, don't just bring it up unless someone explicitly asks you for it. If they ask and you respond bluntly, well, they asked for it.
Make your opinion personal: Add a personal touch to your opinions by using "I", "me", "my", etc. For example, instead of saying "smoking is dumb", say "I think that smoking is dumb". This way you're not putting anyone down, just expressing yourself. Plus people find it harder to object because now they have to say "well you're wrong" and that's basically calling you out. People don't want confrontation.
Ease up: This was the hardest to do. It's possible to have a strong opinion on something and, believe it or not, there are nicer ways to get the point across and be just as effective. In the same smoking example before, instead of saying "I think smoking is dumb", if you say "I never understood smoking. Doesn't make sense to me at all" is going to rustle alot less Jimmies.

Title	The fine line between confidence and being an asshole
Author	henker220
Upvotes	2
Comments	4
Date	June 19, 2016 12:30 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4or3p9/the_fine_line_between_confidence_and_being_an/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-fine-line-between-confidence-and-being-an.1408379 https://theredarchive.com/post/1408379

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