Hey I just wanted to share some ideas I have learnt about the importance of healthy aggression in dating. I have always been someone who was very passive and low in disagreeableness. I learnt that this was very ineffective when it comes to dating. Many nice guys will probably be low in aggression or will be passive/aggressive.

What I have learnt is that men need to develop a healthy relationship to their aggressive impulses. I feel like the world is quite soft now and aggression in particular is seen as a very negative emotion/state. But its actually very necessary and helped humans evolve to our current stage. Without it humans wouldn't have survived.

Now when it comes to dating I have learnt that many attractive girls will have a healthy relationship to their own aggression. They have too as it enables them to have healthy boundaries and keep the chodes away. I dare say the hotter the girl the more aggressive she will be. That doesn't mean she's an angry destructive manic (she might be lol) but that she shows her aggression through strong boundaries. Hot girls know their worth and will protect it.

Now if you're a man who falls more on the passive side, I would suggest that your chances of attracting a high value woman are slim. In order to create attraction men need to have atleast as much aggression as the girl does, ideally he needs to have more. Aggression is power and as we know power is attractive. This is why assholes and narcissistic types appear to have more success with women. Clearly they are not emotionally healthy men, but women respect them as they are often more aggressive in their actions.

I am not suggesting you have to become an angry destructive asshole but you must work to integrate your aggressive impluses into your character and personality. This is something Jordan Peterson talks alot about and many people actually have tons of repressed anger/aggression which can lead to a whole host of mental/emotional/physical problems. Integration means wholeness - so that you become assertive, you can stand up for yourself and go for what you want.

Also, integrating your aggression is not something you can do with a flick of a switch. You can't just turn it on and start being aggressive all of a sudden. That would inauthentic and the girl would feel it. Instead it takes time and patience to start developing a healthy relationship to it. Gradually over time you'll start to feel a sense of power and assertion you maybe didn't have before and people will notice that.

Find a therapist or coach or someone who can help you with this if you think you're a more passive person. It helped me alot 🙏🏽