Hey guys, I am by no means an expert but I am a nice guy who recently woke up to his folly.

I will make this very short...

A lot of people here assume a nice guy is simply someone who is nice to girls so they end up trying to compensate and become real assholes. This almost never solves their problems because being nice is just a symptom, not the illness. Girls like it when guys are nice to them, they are less threatened by you when you are friendly to them. So, what is the nice guy? Why do girls despise the "nice guy"? Why do people make fun of us?

Well, A nice guy is the male equivalent of the manipulative chick.

The manipulative chick is the type of girl who will sleep with you just to cuff you. These are the girls who, when they find you attractive, will immediately sleep with you and EXPECT you commit in return (it’s a guilt trap). I have been hit with the “what are we?” question after two days of sleeping with one of these girls and when I said “nothing… yet” she blew up. This does not mean that she is a bad person, it just means she was not mature enough to see that’s not how things work. She wanted someone to care for her and offered to trade sex for it. If none of her intentions were communicated to you before she slept with you, you are apt to feel resentment towards her for making you feel guilty.

And that is where the key is… girls want commitment and men want sex. So, the nice guy offers his commitment (attention/affection) as a trade. The same way the girl unintentionally cheapens herself by giving up sex too easily, the nice guy cheapens himself by giving up his time and affection (himself) too easily. They both set themselves up for disappointment and open themselves up for real assholes to manipulate them. She is exploited by the overcompensating asshole and he becomes an emotional dumping ground for “the one” sexy girl in his class.

So what causes a guy to become a nice guy?

1) He does not value himself and feels like he is not enough -> Makes him look insecure

2) He is too scared of rejection so he is trying to guarantee success via invisible trade agreements -> Makes him look manipulative and weak

3) He has been validated by women (of all ages) for being this way -> Makes him look like an approval addict

If you are a nice guy, it’s okay. It’s just your current point of development and you will grow out of it. You can improve by working on yourself to the point you know YOU are enough… to the point where you don’t FEEL like you have to trade complements and two-hour emotional support sessions for a girl’s attention. When you get to the point where you know you are valuable because you TRULY value yourself, only then, the focus shifts from “what can I offer her?” to “how should I approach her?”. And it is at this point that this sub can help you. Unless you learn to love yourself enough to not sell yourself to girls… no amount of sex will afford you happiness and fulfillment.