Why is it in this community and others that don't take a hard-line and extremely cynical approach (RP and other hate-filled places) that there exists a big gulf between 2 distinct schools of thought, on whether a certain kind of guy can get laid or not.

You have the so-called "competitive side" that's basically preaching "measure up to your competition, make sure you're ambitious in all ways, socially, academically, career-wise.. or forget it, you can't expect to have sex without offering high value in exchange; if you can't excel in at least one of those categories, you're a good example of Darwinism in action, etc." Obviously, I hate all of this rhetoric because I don't believe the value of a man is ONLY what he contributes. There can be other intangibles women can find attractive in a guy, or at least, that is what I choose to believe (otherwise my self-esteem wouldn't even exist.)

So that's one of the two polarities.

The other polarity is the one I prefer to believe in. It goes, "Almost any guy can get laid; what brings down any given 30+ virgin is not his lack of money, lack of higher education, poor social skills.. or even the lack of all three... it's 90% his attitude, his distrustful nature of others, his rejection sensitivity, etc. There are no leagues."

So now I have to ask the hard question. Is this last belief a lie? I'm asking because most of the threads here seem to suggest getting laid is such an extremely hard task, IMO it tends to bring the lie to the optimistic schools of thought. I'm seeing loads of threads from guys working fulltime and going to school (or vice versa), also managing to go to parties, attend clubs, and use online dating and they're still not getting any action.

That certainly looks ambitious and high value to me, and yet it doesn't pay off for them.

Most suspiciously, I do not ever see threads by autistic losers who don't function well in society, ever getting laid (and when I do and I inquire about the actual details, I regret asking, because these are scenarios I wouldn't even want to be in. I'm not a choosy beggar; let's just say I don't want to be involved with cheating wives, that kind of thing, etc.)

Which is the correct school, and is it possible the 2 sides can ever reconcile? Some days I come here and the first school is dominant and I feel like utter crap.

In the face of social disability, being past 30 and unable to function normally, the only school of thought that inspires me is the "there are no leagues" school, but I constantly question if that even exists. For my peace of mind, though, I HAVE to believe in it.

How do you guys wrestle with this conundrum?