Thing is...

hunterpua · 2025-09-26T05:54:54+00:00

Absolutely not a guarantee that you will lose. I met a girl I dated for 3 years by approaching her on the street, as well as a ton of other FWBs.

BUT...I have to agree that cold approach is a lower level to meet women from.

Its higher than just relying on circumstances to magically help you meet people, but it's lower than situations where women you're attracted to regularly come to you.

Its supposed to be even lower than Bumble but most guys don't know how to use that app properly and capitalise on the fact that the girl is initiating.

Its definitely lower than being the life of a party and having a bunch of girls congregate around you.

And definitely lower than just having a lifestyle where the girls you want regularly come to you.

But thing is...

Unless you're rich, those higher levels require a certain level of social skills and seduction skills.

And cold approach is the best way to develop that.

Because you can get so many reps in such a short time frame and irs very socially safe as well.

Even if you downright embarrass yourself you can just walk away and after a week or two, you and the girl wouldn't recognise each other if you ran into each other head first.

When guys come to me for help and they're starting from zero I just tell them, "Get consistent at getting dates from cold approach then you can stop cold approaching forever and we'll work on setting you up to meet girls with whatever method you prefer."

Yes, just getting dates. Just being able to consistently have women come out to see you. Even if you can't pull any of those women. That's the highest level of cold approach that I would say is "required."

When you're at that point you have all the prerequisite skills and attributes that'll allow you to kill it with any other method of meeting women.

I've gone far past the level of just getting dates but I've also long since acknowledged that I've only been doing cold approach recreationally for the past 10 years or so. It's not something that's necessary for me to do, but it is fun when you're good at it.

So I agree that cold approach definitely isn't the best position to meet women from, but unless you're already naturally doing great with women, cold approach is an amazing tool to help you develop the necessary skills to get to that point.

Impossible-Deer4016 · 2025-09-26T08:48:10+00:00

I wonder if a woman rarely being cold approached from men then mayby (if the guy is attractive for her taste) the next guy who approaches her, has more chances for a positive outcome because she would like to be cocky with her friends? Example (typing on her mobile): "hey I met a very handsome guy just few minutes ago he seems cool. all possibilities are open. Crazy isn't it? Wish me luck" Lol. I don't know if women react like this. I mean men are definately cocky with their friends, not sure about women though.

Prestigious_Water336 · 2025-09-26T09:27:23+00:00

To me it's like the poster you saw in school

"You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take"

Away_End_4408 · 2025-09-25T23:11:05+00:00

Right, it's not like running game on a boat in the ocean?... You know, because of the implications...

epimpstyle · 2025-09-25T23:31:28+00:00

It depends on how you start the conversation, but there are plenty of ways to increase the odds that she won’t walk away right away.

- If you ask a question > you will get a reply in 9/10 of the cases.

- Having a smooth transition will help keep the woman engaged in the conversation. At this stage, you're about 1 to 2 minutes into the conversation with her. Either she's polite and listens to you , which is the ideal scenario or she pretends she needs to leave because she's in a hurry… that's a rejection.

If you look carefully, the only possible rejection at this stage is her saying that she is in a hurry.... at this stage, she won't say "I have a boyfriend" because there is no reason to say so. At this stage, if you look at her, you’ll notice whether she wants to stay or leave... there are all kinds of subtle hints...

- After the transition, if you have a funny or interesting story, you’ll keep her engaged for another minute. And because you’ve been talking to her for about three minutes now, she’ll start getting used to your presence, her guard drops... she assumes that you are just a friendly and social guy, you are not a threat.... again, she will reject you, only telling you that she is in a hurry, there isn't another reason...

However, she’ll realize what’s going on the moment you escalate and start making playful jokes. But because you’ve kept her around for 3–4 minutes, the odds are in your favor. At this point, if there’s a rejection, it’ll likely be framed as “I have a boyfriend” , that's the worst case scenario but most of the time you won't get such a direct rejection but you will get all kinds of hints to let you know that she has a boyfriend/husband.

The good part in all of this? You’ve talked to a woman for 3–4 minutes. That’s already a win , you come across as social and friendly. It’s perfectly normal, and it doesn’t look like a desperate move.

cangero0 · 2025-09-26T02:59:01+00:00

Desperate

Yes I think that's the point... If everyone had fulfilling dating lives nobody would need this stuff

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-09-26T05:36:09+00:00

Try engaging people out of a genuine curiosity. You can comment on style or really about anything you find interesting. Don't be outcome dependent with the interactions. Just enjoy the conversations and be at peace whatever the outcome. If she tells you she has a boyfriend or to get lost, that's fine. Move along. But you'll find someone who will enjoy your approach.

Title	Thing is...
Author	Impossible-Deer4016
Upvotes	1
Comments	9
Date	September 25, 2025 10:19 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1nqkfa8/thing_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/thing-is.1562799 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562799

Comments