This is still confusing to me

Captain_w00t · 2026-01-12T17:26:43+00:00

Imitation doesn’t work because you lack the vision, which is to not think about girls/women as sex objects and sex isn’t a goal.

You meet someone, you like them, you show your interest, and you follow the flow until they let you do so.

It’s not a goal, it just is.

IamaThrowAwway · 2026-01-12T18:29:19+00:00

You be that guy by finding something else in your life more important than getting laid. You be that guy by finding something else more important in life then trying to impress other men with how many hot girls you've fucked.

In some sense, I'll admit it's a bit of a catch 22 reminiscent of trying to get your first job. All employers want experience, but how can you get experience if no one will hire you? Men who have a lot of sex don't need it and therefore don't act desperate about getting it, which in turn brings them more sex. If you're not getting sex, well, how do you get to the point where you're not desperate for it?

It's inner game. That is one concept this subreddit teaches that I support. Fix your life first. Become an interesting person with interesting things to say. Focus more on just enjoying every moment on this earth first, and having sex last. Get out there and live an interesting life. When sex stops becoming the main focus, the be all end all, you'll find you're getting much more of it.

And secondly, stop giving a god damn about how hot a woman is. Sure, the unemployed gymcel with nothing going on in his life may be fucking hot girls left and right but those are trash girls. I don't mean because they have sex they're trash. I mean they're trash human beings. They're emotionally broken and willing to accept mistreatment because it's all they've known. Those girls are no prize. Their looks stop being a big deal pretty soon once you realize what kind of person they are.

tilldeathdoiparty · 2026-01-12T17:34:06+00:00

Charm and connection go a lot further than money, looks or anything you assume women will chase.

Yes there are women who do chase those things, but all women chase a man who can make them feel special

Charge36 · 2026-01-12T16:06:06+00:00

I guarantee you the dudes you talking about that sleep with a lot of women are not treating them like objects.

Andrew__IE · 2026-01-13T12:51:54+00:00

At the end of the day, love, dating, romance, whatever you like to call it is supposed to be social play. It’s supposed to be fun. Think back to being a little kid and remember that you had the most fun when you were just doing and not thinking. Letting that state of joy flow out of you into the world. You played sports and had the most fun when you just did it. You performed the best when your heart lead and your body followed.

Compliment a girl because you like whatever she has going on. If you like her smell, her outfit, her glasses, her eyes etc. say that, respectfully of course. Express it because you feel it, because you mean it. Talk to her about whatever you wanna talk about, say what you want to say. The guys that you compare yourself to are doing well because they do rather more than they think.

People aren’t equations to solve or puzzles to put together. People crunch numbers and do bullshit all day at work, when it comes to social time they want to feel and express, and live as a human living a life not a robot being programmed.

I understand the need for theory behind dating and romance and I do see myself better with woman after having been here, but like a sport or a performance, you have to take all that training and learning you did and push it away and let it flow out and just play.

TLDR: Don’t think, just do. Other guys do well because they express themselves to without overthinking it because they treat girls like people and not games to win at. Read the theory and internalize it but let it go when you’re talking to girls. Enjoy their company, have a good time with it. Have fun.

IllustriousRain2333 · 2026-01-12T16:04:00+00:00

There's nothing confusing about it. Either be beautiful or pay a prostitute. Why would anyone want to fuck an ugly guy for free?

Title	This is still confusing to me
Author	Kindly-Tough-2091
Upvotes	7
Comments	12
Date	January 12, 2026 3:54 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1qayk6o/this_is_still_confusing_to_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/this-is-still-confusing-to-me.1570996 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570996

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