Depending on the situation you're coming from, if you want to improve you skills with women you may require a substantial change in identity.

As you grow up you adopt certain personality traits to accomplish various goals. When you're a baby maybe you have to scream really loudly or your parents won't pay attention to you, when you're a child maybe you get picked on at school so you try to make yourself invisible, when you're an adolescent maybe you start listening to a type of music to fit in with a social circle, when you're an adult maybe you dull your personality from the monotony of a 9-5 job.

These circumstances are different for every person and result in a wide range of personality types. Only a very small percentage of them are naturally good at attracting women.

If you are like one of the many guys who isn't naturally good at attracting women you will have to change your identity. The extent of this depends on the level of results you want. If you're just looking for a single girl to form an LTR there may not be many changes required. If you want to be a full blown PUA there will be many.

Some personality traits I consider to be a requirement for having success with women:

1) Social. You simply cannot be an introvert and be successful with women. If you don't get out a lot to meet new people you will never have access to a wide range of women. You also won't be able to make a lot of friends. Friends are obviously not the same as getting women but they help you build an aura of non-neediness. Also I found that as I became more social I developed new sides of my personality that people really enjoy (this was mostly as a result of going to clubs I'd say).

2) Strong boundaries. You cannot let a women push you around. A lot of women will test this right off the bat of meeting you with really strong eye contact to see what you'll do. This goes on to the whole "shit test" concept which is basically determining how strong you are. A girl at a club recently kept telling that I smelled bad. I played it off a bunch of times but eventually caved and walked away. Since she continued to hammer down on this point eventually I became insecure and lost my confidence.

3) Directed. You need to have a plan and be executing it. You need to know when the vibe is ready to change. A common way this is manifested is with sexual escalation. You meet a girl at a club and she's interested but after 5 minutes she can see you're just twiddling your thumbs and don't know what to do next. That's when you get a "we have to go to the bathroom" 😄.

The hardest part about an identity shift I find is convincing yourself that the effort is worthwhile. If a concept has been central to you identity for a long time but it is counter productive to your current goals it will be very difficult to change. The first step I'd say is acknowledging that it's counter productive and working from there.