Talking to people should be your bread and butter. It is the cornerstone of becoming both more social, more successful with women and happier in general because speaking your mind and sharing your worries is the most cathartic action there is. The lessons are universally applicable.

I had a pretty intense interview process to prepare for last year (career where the company would have been shelling out 200k+ on training me in the first two years. They were thorough!). So I got in touch with a professional interview technique guru, regarded as the most successful in preparing candidates in that field. Was initially very sceptical of how helpful it would be but I was amazed by not only the insights this guy had but the charisma he could put across on demand. Some of the body language ideas are his and others just things I either have learned on my own or do naturally.

1/ Speech patterns

• Speak slower and more deeply. It allows you to breathe more and your voice sounds less strained, as well as reinforcing your points.
• When someone asks you a question, pause. Look them in the eye directly and then answer. If its a formal atmosphere, we are talking 2-3 seconds.
• Stay in the moment when you talk because the moment you get in your own head you can lose your authenticity and authority.
• When you are in a conversation look deep into the person’s eyes and never get into deference mode.
• Never be afraid to disagree if you honestly hold a different opinion.
• Don’t be afraid to smile but make sure it is real rather than one designed to conform or agree. That can come across as fake and dispelling that notion in someone’s mind is hard to do.
• Be categorical and never use qualifiers when you truly believe something. In a statement of intent especially. Since it can’t be “wrong” make it strong.

2/ Conveying authenticity

• In general life, be open with the subjects you are willing to discuss, especially about yourself. Always be matter-of-fact, direct and honest.
• Be shameless and you can say pretty much anything.
• Don’t give advice you don’t agree with yourself or is an echo of someone else’s opinion.

• Women, in most cases, when they ask for advice, are not looking for your input. You are usually just a medium for venting their emotions. So if you think them sharing their problems is a big deal and feel that you need to agree with what they’re saying, DON’T! If you agree that is fine but if not, break the cycle by telling her why you disagree. Feel free if they don’t take your advice the first time to tell them so. The negative connotations related with “I told you so” are bullshit. It is not about infallibility and the advice-giver never being wrong. It is about being open a third party having equal or better insights than you yourself do. This leads me onto my most important point.

• Always, always, always listen to others. The proportion of people you talk to that are waiting for their turn to speak is disgusting. You will begin to catch yourself doing it so you always need to be mindful to get back in the moment. It gives you the ‘glossy-eyed’ look or an automatic nod which is very unattractive. When you listen closely to what someone says you can put yourself in a position to make such an incisive reply that you will cut through their frame and they will become very much more receptive to what you’re saying. Following on from this point, also be aware if you are someone who naturally gives approbation when the other person is talking. I have a good friend who has the annoying habit of saying “yes” very enthusiastically every couple of seconds when I am talking to him. Because I know him very well I know that is the way he processes what I am saying but it can come across as humouring someone and not really listening.

3/ Body language

• A little note on triangle gazing. Its a seddit favourite but don’t forget that its not just when you want to go in for a kiss that it is useful. It is so powerful for creating a more sexually charged frame. Also I urge everyone to practice giving that raw, I-want-to-rip-your-clothes-off look in the mirror. What helps me is to feel as if I’m about to narrow my eyes and squint. It helps to accentuate your pupils. When you do it while she is talking in conjunction with a little triangle gaze, use a little half-smile, and it can make a woman melt.

• Practice talking with a sexually charged tone. The best example I have seen is to use nursery rhymes or something that has no sexual context and try to give the words that power. Again, going back to my above point, most people are only waiting to talk, so are more likely to pick up on the way you’re saying something rather than what you’re saying. Crowded clubs and bars are a great example of where this can be make or break. Conveying your sexual interest in that blatant but also subtle way can make a woman very interested very quickly. I actually advocate saying things that aren’t too sexualised but saying them in such a way that you might as well be telling her “I’m going to bend you over this bar right now and ravage you!".

• Try this little experiment. You can make someone repeat what you say. When the other person is speaking and they try to think of a word or a concept, just say it for them. If you’ve gotten close to what they were trying to express, they’ll repeat what you said. Obviously don’t interrupt them if they’ve just paused but when you notice it in a conversation, it’ll be clear. This is the best rapport-building technique in any conversation and makes you seem very perceptive and erudite. The only disclaimer is to limit its use because if you do it too often, it will seem condescending. In a pickup context it can even be used tongue-in-cheek because once she says what you said, you can play it off as “great minds think alike” or “we are already finishing each other’s sentences”.

• Keep good posture. It accentuates a relaxed look and a calmness within yourself. Never fold your arms when talking face to face with someone. Keep open body language but don’t be afraid to lean back or move backwards to invite the person to move towards you. Be deliberate and categorical in your actions. Clumsiness does not enhance attractiveness.

• Mirroring is a very common occurrence but almost no one is aware they are doing it or are making others do it. When you do it you basically copy the other person’s body position. If they cross their legs, mid-conversation, you will too subconsciously. If you live somewhere with an underground train or a tram you will see this every 30 seconds. But once you know it you can test other people’s receptiveness to you. Since it is an in-built form of assimilation and garnering of acceptance, a person will only do it subconsciously when they are seeking your approval.

• I know every second post on seddit is about kino but I’m going to repeat the core lesson that will improve it. Touch everyone you talk to from the first moment you meet them, either on the shoulder, the arm, the back. If it is a relaxed atmosphere it shows you are someone who has ultimate confidence in themselves. Also the more you do it the quicker it becomes a habit, and the more natural it will become. One thing I love to do with women is the hip bump or the sly elbow/shoulder tap. A lot of my “game” in the club is on the dance floor and it works so well there. But in any situation it is a great way to initiate contact when you are teasing the girl. If she is very playful then it can turn into heavier kino very quickly but even if she’s shy then it will be a perfect icebreaker to physical contact.

That’s about all I can think of right now. If you have questions or want me to describe any concepts in more detail, drop me a PM.

Comments are welcome, as always.

EDIT:Formatted better.