Too confident?

alphaChompy · 2013-01-24T17:00:04+00:00

God the irony.

He's insecure about being "too confident".

theyou · 2013-01-24T15:12:31+00:00

I think there are two general types of confidence men can possess.

The strong hero type. He is tough and stoic. Prepared to deal with some kind of problem, usually physical danger, he is focused on his task and doesn't talk much or show emotion. This makes him appear "capable" to women, but in everyday circumstances his serious presence doesn't put people at ease. A woman may find him "hot" but she probably doesn't feel his warmth.
The second type is "charismatic" confidence found in the politician or performer. He knows how to talk, smile, and focuses on giving others a good time. He isn't afraid to be the first to "invest" in someone and be vulnerable to rejection. If he is rejected, he is generally unfazed, laughs about it and moves on. His concern is maintaining positive energy and so other people feel at ease around him. They welcome his presence.

I think maybe you are coming off as a little bit too much of the first type of confidence. You may have good posture and body language but if you combine this with a serious demeanor you might be perceived as arrogant.

Some questions to consider. Are you showing others warmth? Do they feel at ease around you? Do you contribute positive energy to the group?

readonlyuser · 2013-01-24T18:08:06+00:00

There's no way that you're coming off cocky solely because of great body language. I'm guessing the issue is that you carry yourself physically like a confident person, but don't carry yourself behaviorally like a confident person (perhaps overcompensating for your self-consciousness?). Otherwise you wouldn't even be asking this question. The discrepancy is probably weirding people out.

Practically speaking, your 'problem' is fine. Not every group of people has to like you. Stop assuming a single bad reaction means you're doing something wrong. If you get this a lot, then it might be time to evaluate.

VMikeL · 2013-01-24T12:17:44+00:00

If what you are telling us is all that you do, keep doing it, you're fine. In fact, a lot of seddit could take a lesson in body language from you. If you are being arrogant, or patronising without realising, then yes, tone it down.

teddy_ · 2013-01-24T17:45:27+00:00

Hate to fire on your parade, but not everyone will like you. Try not to focus on impressing those people.

Edit: I think I fucked up that saying

Freevoulous · 2013-01-24T17:03:45+00:00

Give value. If you are already percieved as confident/strong, them smiling, compliments (genuine) ans showing other people your appreciation of them works wonders.

Also read : "How to win friends and influence people".

DNZ_not_DMZ · 2013-01-24T18:12:31+00:00

People with less confidence than you will try to make you smaller, sure. Question is, do you want to be smaller?

cmarquez7 · 2013-01-25T05:42:26+00:00

You shouldn't worry about the people who are saying that you are coming off as too cocky. These people are probably just jealous of your current state of mind. Be proud of the way you feel and just keep ignoring these folk.

kris0stby · 2013-01-27T02:29:35+00:00

Cocky is good, now just add the funny.

Title	Too confident?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	12
Date	January 24, 2013 9:56 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/176lje/too_confident/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/too-confident.1346327 https://theredarchive.com/post/1346327

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