Trying too hard?

Captain_w00t · 2024-08-21T15:07:47+00:00

Stop focusing on pulling girls and focus on your own fun and strengths. This will make you more confident (hence attractive).

When your mindset is that whatever happens you will be ok, and that your focus is having a good time, things will look much more easier and lighter.

If you see a good looking girl, you can just approach her and start talking in a lighthearted way, using good manners as well. If she’s interested, things will flow, if she’s uncomfortable, just kindly eject.

Rejection is part of the game, and it happens for whatever reason. It’s not terrible as long as you have been genuinely honest and kind (meaning you didn’t hurt anyone after all).

JimBroTRT · 2024-08-21T15:24:31+00:00

The short answer is yes. The longer answer is that yes, you can walk up to a woman and strike up a conversation, but in order to truly succeed you have to do it from a position of power.

The majority of men approach from the position of “omg, she’s so hot, I have to prove myself to her and hope she likes me enough to give me a chance”. As you can imagine, this usually ends as well as you think.

To approach from a position of power, you want to go in like this “okay, she’s cute, I might possible give her a chance if she proves herself to me that she is fun, sexy, adventurous, interesting, etc (whatever your criteria are).

To an outsider it may not seem like a big difference but it makes all the difference.

appolonysian · 2024-08-21T15:13:21+00:00

I get where you’re coming from here. I had it relatively easy in school cause of my looks, and all my relationships kinda fell into my lap, so I was completely unprepared for the “real world.”

But yeah, so long as it’s socially appropriate to do so, go ahead and spark a conversation with some sort of observation or compliment. Don’t overthink power dynamics too much, just go with your gut when it comes to what to say.

epimpstyle · 2024-08-21T21:11:58+00:00

Do guys mostly just go up to women you find attractive and start a conversation?

This is what the guys at youtube want you to see, but out of 10 guys, I don't know if there is one who can do this. This is not a normal way to do it.

However, after a little experience you can filter the women who are worth talking to or not and you will not just blindly start a conversation with a girl just because she is cute if you can clearly see/detect that she is not in the mood or you can try your luck if you see that she has an open body language, she is very expressive, things like that. It is hard to explain, but it is easy to deduce who is not interested. In very rare cases your intuition will be wrong and realize that a not-interested girl will be a super cool girl, actually 1 out of 20 tries... something like that. For example, I have seen that in 99% of the cases a 9HB will walk down the street without trying to give any hints to anyone, she will just ignore everyone to avoid any approach attempt (even if you yell, she won't turn her head to avoid giving you the chance to tell her something). A youtuber will try his luck to make a good video so he will approach her and because women are friendly and polite they will talk to them a bit and even give their phone number but this means nothing because the flake rate is enormous.

I have a hard time knowing where to start. I go to bars once or twice a month,

As you have seen, a bar/club/event is not a good place to start because you have to deal with the whole group, so better where you see them alone: mall, bus stop, street, park...

Is there a certain mindset I can refer to?

If you are looking for mindset, it looks like you know how to open, what to say, how to continue, what to do next... so just your mindset... well... in this case just think about nothing and just approach. Empty your mind, don't think about anything, don't let any thoughts develop, just have a blank table in your mind and go in.

Title	Trying too hard?
Author	held_a_picture
Upvotes	2
Comments	4
Date	August 21, 2024 2:49 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1exrk35/trying_too_hard/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/trying-too-hard.1527903 https://theredarchive.com/post/1527903

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