Girl at work is very attractive, gets lots of attention, always has guys buying stuff for her, lots of guys hitting on her and complementing her, typical hot girl shit. Over time I’ve built up decent rapport with her and was getting good signs in return. Although it’s certainly tapered off a bit there have been some strong signs that she was into me; asking me personal questions, her frequently breaking the touch barrier, telling me that other girls think I’m attractive, telling me about weird guys hitting on her, telling me stories that convey the notion that she’s single, mentioning sexual topics, etc.

The other day I decided to go for it and ask her out. I asked her out directly. She was hesitant and her reasoning was that the guy who worked in my position before had gotten the numbers of a bunch of the other girls at the store (and hers) and had basically harassed them and been really weird, so basically a soft rejection. I played it cool, jokingly reassured her I wasn’t a weirdo and told her to think abt it. I didn’t press anymore after that and went back to normal banter/joking teasing for like a week and a half. She still engages me in convo, seeks out interactions w me, smiles and laughs at my jokes etc. My idea was to give her space and not be too aggressive/needy abt it.

Fast forward to today I ask her out again but this time I frame it like “so are we gonna do X or Y or both” to which she responds “neither” and lists off whatever reasons why. This kinda caught me off guard bc the other day after she left work she came back later w her friend. She never does this so In my head I was thinking that she brought her friend to see what they thought of me or to get the stamp of approval. I figured if I charmed the friend I was in so I made sure to make jokes and be charismatic and I thought the interaction went decently well.

In analyzing my interactions w her I can definitely see instances where I’ve blundered; keeping the convos safe and too friendly (definitely insecurity on my side bc I actually like her and was nervous to spike emotion, plus I also justified it to myself by telling myself to keep the convos semi professional/work appropriate), seeking out convos w her a little too frequently and probably conveying too much interest. In most cases I was able to pick up on this on the spot and would pull back my attention, convo frequency, etc. However I didn’t think any of these were necessarily irreparable blunders.

I like to think there are a few things working in my favor. I have built rapport w a lot of ppl at work guys and girls so I’m not that dude that only talks to the pretty girls, I get a moderate amount of attention from other attractive women and my interactions w them are almost always positive (making them laugh/smile etc.), while I have bought her some stuff like an energy drink here and there I tell her no most of the time unlike most of the other guys around (I do this bc I’m a generous person by nature not bc I’m trying to win her over)

While I’m not against being persistent I just don’t really know what to make of these mixed signals. My plan moving forward is to keep things cordial but pull back a decent amount of my attention and tone down on the flirting and focus on gaming other girls. I don’t really foresee myself making another move unless I leave this job (which is hopefully soon) and at that point it’ll be a last shot Hail Mary.

The biggest thing for me about this situation is that I don’t know where the hole in my game is and what my deficiencies are. Any insight is appreciated.

Thanks Bros and happy hunting