I'm a lady, and while I'm learning a lot about pickup, I can't stop thinking about an experience I had that changed the way I thought about my own sexuality. I think this experience points to some unexplored techniques available to men with limited experience, or men who are not necessarily Alphas. Now we all know that women's behavior in the movies is scripted, which is why you can't base your idea of an alpha male on movie characters. But to get some context, I have to tell you about an episode of a TV show I saw and the way that I, as a real live woman, responded to it. A couple of secondary characters meet at a painting class. Girl in her 20s, awkward, artistic guy. They have a lot in common, and while we see that the guy finds her attractive, he's too shy to do anything about it and she quickly friend zones him.

Cut to a scene with the two of them hanging out. They are actually lying together on the girl's bed, but there is no sexual tension whatsoever. The conversation peters out, and they're silent for a minute. Then the guy drops this: "I'm not gay you know." The girl looks mildly surprised, and says nothing. "It sucks," the guy continues, "Guys are always trying to pick me up. They just assume I must be gay just because I'm an artist." "Probably cause you're hot," says the girl, in a tone that is clearly meant to reassure, not flirt. But the guy does something very interesting with the next line. He tenses up. He stops breathing for a beat, and his throat is so constricted that it makes a sort of semi-swallowing noise when he finally lets it go in order to speak. It's a sound people make when someone is going down on them. "You think I'm hot?" he manages.

Now, this might seem counterintuitive, but I can tell you, this is one of the sexiest moments I've seen on film. Right up until that last line, this was a boring character. But because I got to see the whole progression of his thwarted interest in the girl, and because I remember what it was like to have a secret crush, that reaction of his awakened something I didn't even know was in me. Were I the girl in that room with him just then, I would have pinned that guy to the bed and fulfilled all his wildest dreams. And I didn't even think I liked being on top.

I think this dynamic has an application in the pickup community, and a unique one at that. Even though it's quite a departure from the Alpha behavior usually advocated here, it has potential for PUAs who actually lack experience, because if you're ok at playing alpha but you get nervous around girls, you can get laid anyway. You need a context where your interaction with the girl appears involuntary, maybe it's the girl sitting next to you on a plane, your coworker, or just someone you get your wing to introduce you to. The key is, turn the game completely around. You're not trying to get anything from the girl, you're trying (and failing) to hide your attraction from her. This gives her the chance to both beat you at your "game" (by ruining your composure) and at the same time feel good about giving you what you always wanted.