PUA tradition has focused on volume (how to get more lays) while missing the emotional costs acquiring those lays. For an aspiring player it is important to understand that Sex for a non-natural, non-alpha man is indeed scarce and rare. That is nature’s design with estimates ranging from 14-30% of males passed on their genes in every generation in pre-history. Simple calculations can show that sex in the modern world is equally scarce, with something as simple as 5 new lays a year reserved for less than 1% of men.

This train of thought is important because we want to avoid migrating from “no sex = problem” to the artificial scarcity “i am doing my best, why cant i get 100 lays a year”. It is a major breakthrough for your inner game to be happy with the lays we are getting from Game. In particular, Ego aside, most players i met, their life changed from just 10 new quality lays. That’s it, it made their lives immensely better, no reason to be chasing our tails for 1000 lifetime lays. Get rid of your real scarcity and then engage with a true abundance mindset. Go for the 1000 lays if you feel fun about it. Not if you feel you must reach a goal.

Quality of women also matters. And this doesn’t mean just hotness, it means actual value as a human being. Education, manners, openess to the world etc. Go lay 100 broken sluts and you might as well end up more broken than when you started. Different forms of Game deal differently with this issue, for example such a thing is a bigger obstacle in Night and Online game than Daygame or Social game. But at some point you need to raise your standards and aim at mini relationships. It can be multiple LTRs, but one night stands, same day lays or fuck buddies will hurt you more if this exclusively what you are going for. The reasons is pretty simple: you cannot honestly pursue a woman, unless you respect her from the core of your soul. Pretty Beta huh ? But it is real. Not all women are equal: education manners and character really do matter. When you do find a girl you vibe on a deeper level, why would you keep her as a ONS and not a mini relationship ? Nothing stops you from dating around while in an LTR. But making it and maintaining an LTR is whole issue of itself and requires as much skill as getting the girl on the first place.

These are much deeper issues of seduction. Our self realisation in the self-help community is not often discussed. Everyone wants to hear the crazy stories that the player had to shake the world to get the girl. Which he proceeded to dump next week because she was a bitch… well ain’t that ironic. The long term goal, Ego and clicks aside is our own happiness and the control over our love lives.

Original article with some more expanded details here: https://coffeedaygame.wordpress.com/2025/10/27/appreciate-game/