So I was speaking to this guy who was just tired of going through the same frustrating cycle with his dating life. His cycle went like this: he’d download a dating app, swipe for a while, get a few matches, and maybe land one or two dates. But most of those matches would fizzle out - long conversations going nowhere, girls not responding, and eventually, it would just feel like a waste of time.

A few months would pass, and he’d delete the app, telling himself it wasn’t worth it. But then, after a while, the loneliness would creep back in, and he’d think, “Alright, let me try this again.” And boom - the cycle would repeat. Download the app, swipe, get a few matches, feel frustrated, delete it. Over and over.

He started this cycle at 20 years old and as he got older, each time it happened, the frustration just built up more and more. Eventually, this cycle even led him to start seeking out other ways to fulfill his needs, like visiting sex workers. He told me, “Man, I’m 35 years old, and nothing’s changed. I’m still doing the same thing and going nowhere. It’s so bad now that I’m paying for sex. What am I doing with my life?”

It got to a point where things were so bad, he felt forced to change. And the reason I’m sharing this story is that, unfortunately, this is how it happens for a lot of guys. But it doesn’t have to.

If you’re stuck in a cycle like this, you’re essentially just wasting time doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. If you want to change your results in a drastic way, you need to make a drastic change in your behavior. And yeah, I get it - that’s uncomfortable. It takes courage. It requires stepping out of your comfort zone.

Honestly, if he had started doing this when he was 20 instead of waiting until he was 35, it would’ve saved him years of frustration and disappointment. He could’ve avoided wasting all that time, but instead, he let things get worse and worse by staying stuck in the same cycle.

Now, 35 isn’t old. But wasting 15 years of your life doing the same thing and not improving? That’s a tough pill to swallow. And he knew he could’ve done more. He knew he could’ve done better. But he didn’t. And that’s on him.

So now, I want to ask you: Are you making the same mistake? Are you stuck in your own cycle?

Maybe your cycle is different. Maybe you’ve already tried real-life approaches. You’ve seen me doing it, you’ve seen others doing it, and you’ve gone out a few times yourself. But when things didn’t work out, you gave up. You told yourself, “Maybe this isn’t for me,” or came up with some excuse to justify quitting.

Then a few months later, you went back to dating apps, or porn, or whatever else. And eventually, you tried real-life approaches again, but without changing anything about your approach. No real effort to improve. No seeking help. No learning from your mistakes.

The cycle repeats.

For every man, the details of the cycle might be different, but the root problem is the same: you’re doing the same thing over and over, without changing your strategy, your intensity, or the effort you put in. So nothing changes.

How many cycles will it take for you to realize what you’re doing isn’t working? How many years are you going to waste before you make a real change?

Life is short. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s true. You never know how much time you have left, so why waste years stuck in a loop that doesn’t get you anywhere?

To break the cycle, you need to make a significant change in your behaviour. And deep down, you already know that change needs to happen now.