What am I doing wrong?

norwegiandoggo · 2025-02-02T13:01:36+00:00

You're not physically escalating on the dates. You're not initiating kissing and sex! Nothing happens. You said a girl kissed you at the end of one date!. If that happens its a clear indication that your escalation is too weak. You're moving too slow so she had to make the first move for you. Probably because you're a bit insecure so you don't make a move - so you're correct in assuming that your insecurity plays a role. It prevents you from escalating.

You have to escalate to get results with almost all women.

DaygameCode · 2025-02-02T13:15:59+00:00

Seems like they get bored with you. Your conversation might not feel too stimulating for them, they might feel like they have to do most of the talking themselves, and they don’t feel any excitement, challenge or tension beyond the first dates.

No_Opportunity_5783 · 2025-02-02T12:26:52+00:00

Texting too much and too soon?

Unhappy_Fig_9780 · 2025-02-02T12:30:44+00:00

why don’t you asked them to be brutally honest?

gaifogel · 2025-02-02T12:32:08+00:00

Tell us what happens on the dates

shathecomedian · 2025-02-02T13:00:25+00:00

I was with you until you said making out, I have a similar problem with getting a chick to meet in person. But if we're able to to get to that point, a chick will damn near fall in love 9/10. So yeah if you're making out with the chicks, not sure the issue

SadEye707 · 2025-02-02T13:45:14+00:00

Okay so just to lend some perspective. I went to a fest on my city today. I’ve just come out of a 6 year relationship and more than not I’ve been a homebody through out. So I went to the fest late afternoon to explore the day game and instantly liked a cute girl with a bun and laid back attitude. Now she was more often than not occupied on her phone which prevented me from making the approach(I mean I’m not asking for any discounts on my approach anxiety but) and she seemed like she was waiting for someone(perhaps a boyfriend). So I thought maybe not a cool/efficient open anyway. So then slowly I built up my courage working through a couple of meads. And then I spot her taking to this peacocky fellow. Now I’m pretty sure that she isn’t gonna be romantically interested in him as that’s rare from my experience of women around my city but you get the gist. She seemed very jovial and genuine person indulging in impromptu conversations and humour. So then I wait for her to get free and circle around the fest ( to not appear like a creep) and I loose her. Disappointed on my third and fourth mead now. And I lose complete hope and see this new person flying around, no company and very serious. I think maybe this is a better approach. And after she has finished browsing Lana Del Ray and ABBA records in a vinyl stall I take the basic approach from the front. Tell her “excuse me, I think you’re ridiculously cute.” She misses it and says “Excuse me”. And I repeat it. And she says “Thanks, I will see you around”and keeps walking. Felt bad after all these years. For reference - I haven’t approached anybody for the past 6 years when I was with my girlfriend.

HomelessMilkman · 2025-02-02T21:01:13+00:00

The only negative I would say is I am a bit shy and anxious sometimes.

It's 100% this. The whole idea is that she's there to experience you; more specifically, your expression.

You have to understand what 'shy and anxious' looks like from third-person. You've frozen, nothing is happening, you've zoned out with a blank expression and nothing is happening; you're not in the room. From your perspective it's stimulating, you have all of these thoughts running through your head and it's obviously overstimulating but for everyone else, it's like the video is buffering.

There's only so long you can do (relatively) nothing and retain attention. If your video didn't load, how fast would you turn it off? If it's constantly stuttering, do you find it difficult to be immersed?

It's just focus. If you're 'present' and expressing yourself, things go well, there's content to engage with. When you mentally disengage and become self-conscious, we're still here in the physical world waiting for you to return; realistically, how long are people going to wait? You're not 'owed' attention, you have to fight for it; you have to earn the next two minutes. Interest isn't random, be interesting, express something with a degree of passion and energy.

SnooHesitations4922 · 2025-02-02T12:42:34+00:00

The questions come in all shapes and sizes, and the answer is always the same.

The second you became more interested in the girl than she was in you is the same second you lost her. This is confirmed by your own past experiences if you try to recall your interactions.

Just practice indifference to beauty. It's ok to be interested in someone, just manage those interest levels so yours is always a bit lower than the girl's.

Title	What am I doing wrong?
Author	Logical-Double-354
Upvotes	4
Comments	26
Date	February 2, 2025 12:15 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ifvzzw/what_am_i_doing_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-am-i-doing-wrong.1542765 https://theredarchive.com/post/1542765

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