What is being needy?

Sedditor829 · 2014-03-26T15:45:03+00:00

It's hard to explain, which is why half the posts on here talk about it. To me there are some general themes:

1) Putting other people's needs before your own (who aren't friends/family).

2) Doing things with the sole purpose of getting others to like you.

3) Being too clingy.

That's a good start.

Afeni02 · 2014-03-26T16:12:08+00:00

Mark Manson-What is needy

philosarapter · 2014-03-26T15:45:47+00:00

Ask yourself this, when you are talking to a girl are you looking to 'take' or are you looking to 'give'?

Needy people are the 'takers': they want compliments, free drinks, sex, etc. Confident people are the 'givers': they make everyone laugh, they include others, they often bring up fun ideas, they want to improve the people they meet and enhance their lives.

People in general are going to label the 'takers' as creepy or pathetic, and they'll all want to hang out with the 'givers'.

joshsway · 2014-03-26T16:24:36+00:00

Neediness is essentially any action that makes you appear desperate or suggests you do not have many other dating options.

I've written a lot about neediness recently on my site.

Here are some good examples of common neediness problems. For instance, being too available: (https://www.joshsway.com/articles/view/you-are-being-too-available), showing interest at the wrong time: https://www.joshsway.com/articles/view/when-to-show-you-are-interested, and not demanding any investment from her: https://www.joshsway.com/articles/view/the-importance-of-making-her-invest

Also, here's a piece to my newsletter on why neediness is so unattractive https://www.joshsway.com/newsletter/view/neediness-is-killing-your-chances/f356c5e255

Apex_of_Attraction · 2014-03-26T17:07:28+00:00

Needy to me means needing something from other people. For the most part, in this context it would mean wanting people to approve of you. Your desire for others to approve of you comes across badly because it demonstrates that you don't have your own emotions handled and that you look to others to guage your own level of self-worth, instead of recognizing through you're own actions that you are ALREADY a person of value.

Yes. A good way to think of it is independence. You might even desire others approval (that's normal to a degree), but you don't NEED their approval in order for you to feel good about yourself. Maybe that is a subtle distinction.

As an analogy, needy behaviour to someone who is independent can come across as if they're are like a homeless person asking for change. Except in this case, it's like a NEEDY person is putting their hand out and asking for good emotions from others before adding value first. That's the best way I can think to describe it. The opposite of this is the millionaire who goes up to stangers and gives them free money for no other reason than because it feels good. He doesn't need their approval. He just enjoys creating opportunities where he can add value without expecting anything in return. Does that make sense?

Darragh, Apex of Attraction www.apexofattraction.com

t2gunnz · 2014-03-26T17:43:20+00:00

Needy is when you rely on something/someone so heavily that you can't function without them, and you cause that person grief for not meeting that need, especially when there is no social norm or legitimate necessity that establishes it as healthy.

0ringer · 2014-03-26T19:47:13+00:00

Desiring her attention and favor 100% of the time.

Title	What is being needy?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	7
Date	March 26, 2014 3:30 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/21f5ed/what_is_being_needy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-is-being-needy.1368123 https://theredarchive.com/post/1368123

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