What isn't small talk?

jimjoekelly · 2012-11-04T04:55:21+00:00

Cookie cutter interview questions like "Where do you work?" or "What are you studying?" are, of course, small talk. Expanding/following up on these with questions like "Cool, have any interesting work stories?" or "Oh, you're studying to being a _______? Is that what you've always wanted to be?" go a bit beyond small talk. Basically, using conversation threading to make the conversation more personal.

readonlyuser · 2012-11-04T05:18:18+00:00

EMOTIONS

pickup_sticks · 2012-11-04T04:13:22+00:00

Think less about the topics themselves and more about how she feels about the topic.

One goto question I use is "when's the last time you were really in love?"

leodoestheopposite · 2012-11-04T06:10:23+00:00

A couple of principles:

People like to talk about themselves
Best conversations are the ones about topics that are of interest to both parties; for instance if you are both into film photography, or playing guitar. Or if you are genuinely interested in an interest of her like... painting.

A good starting point is to talk about the context where you meet, think about the cliche' Do you come here often? and re-worded in a way that's more interesting, if you are in a bookstore, ask her what are her favorite books... follow up question: what makes them her favorite.

If you are at a wine tasting, ask her about her taste in wines... you can branch out to travel and food from there.

Be ready to have something to contribute to the conversation, alway enrich the conversation (tip from studying Improv) and not neg on her interests. This is where following your passions and interests come into play.

Title	What isn't small talk?
Author	throwawayface1
Upvotes	9
Comments	5
Date	November 4, 2012 1:56 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/12ld3e/what_isnt_small_talk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-isnt-small-talk.1342277 https://theredarchive.com/post/1342277

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