What everybody says is that women need their space and don't date men who are needy and overpursue, and women will come to you if you do the right things with yourself and keep self-improving.

But that's not what I've seen.

Especially not, if I'm being as harshly honest as possible, "Anglo" women - women who are invested in "Anglo" culture, the mainstream Western cultural patterns in English-speaking countries. I'm not going to say "white chicks" because I've seen women of various skin colors either accept this, or reject this. It's the culture, and different cultures accept or reject this, which will be somewhat articulated below. What I've seen is that you require a much more grandiose, effort-heavy style of approach than what the majority of people recommend. To be more specific, you seemingly have to text on a daily basis, never give her a day off or wait for her to start a conversation (young women invested in this culture tell me that their bfs texted them every day and never even let them start a conversation before they began dating), do bold pushy things like walk up to her car while she's in it, doing things for her all the time (I believe the kids call this "simping"), constantly ask for her attention, etc...

I'm not sure exactly why that is, but I noticed that current modes of thinking for contemporary Anglo women seem to be divided into two equal, opposite extremes that more or less demand the same results...

Man-fearing Anglo Gen Z women seem to do this because...

  1. Feminism teaches that men are not to be trusted, so relationships are approached with extreme caution
  2. They are told that by being beautiful, they have done enough work, and the man must go out of his way to demonstrate his care to her.
  3. They think that approachable men are the most likely to cheat or reject them. It's kind of a learned helplessness thing, very similar mentality to incels really. Successful men intimidate them. Simps who come first and practically stalk them are actually less intimidating to them by comparison.
  4. "MARRIAGE BAAAAAAAD..."
  5. They think basic respect is playing games, that it's some kind of mind-game you're playing if you're just respecting her boundaries.

Man-loving Anglo Gen Z women seem to do this because...

  1. Because so much Feminist doctrine teaches that men always totally controlled relationships (historically untrue, BTW, turns out women held plenty of cards as early on as the Silent Generation, if not before then, they just used their cards differently), a lot of man-loving women intentionally allow men to control every single aspect of the relationship just because they hate feminism and think that's really how it was done before (it wasn't, BTW, again, women always held some cards, they just used them differently from what Feminists advocate)
  2. They actually love their simps, so why put in the effort? That might just scare the simps away.
  3. They think that men are so wonderful just for being men that they don't have to spend time improving themselves, they just have to show that they love their sweethearts and just be men. In fact, to them, successful men who don't try to win bread with love alone be damned!
  4. They fetishize male aggression, nevermind the fact that some of the most overly aggressive men are overcompensating for the fact that they are immature, insecure betas. They think guys who just focus on self-improvement are being too passive.
  5. They love attention from men and feeling like special celebrities.

So, basically, two completely different sets of concerns, but the exact same demands. It's basically bad to underpursue with the younger Anglo women and it's basically bad to emphasize your own need to self-improve.

But there's hope.

  1. This is only mainstream English-speaking culture. I haven't seen this at all among those invested in, say, a more Hispanic culture, for example, and approaching women invested in that culture in this way actually seems to have the opposite effect. It repulses them. The same can be said for Slavic transfer students - they seem to be more keen on being given roughly equal room to pursue themselves and seem to prefer to actively select men who pursue self-improvement rather than let men select them. You would think that in theory, a more tradition-rooted culture would have men grab women by the hair and drag them to be their brides, but in practice, a tradition-rooted culture probably has a higher emphasis on marriage and marriage-like situations, which places less pressure on the man to chase and more pressure on the man to self-improve. Because the man should spend more time becoming long-term relationship material, and because the woman should hunt for "catches", the woman basically can place more emphasis on pursuing on her own end. You can actually, as I learned from experience, occasionally afford to wait for her to make her moves after you've made yours, rather than constantly make move after move on her without her making a single move in return.
  2. If you really want to pursue within Anglo culture, you can always learn how to be pushy without being creepy anyway. But that's the real trick, isn't it? How does one fit that balance?

I'd like a keen, healthy discussion below!