What you say doesn't matter. Stop overthinking it

Gfresh404 · 2012-07-17T00:18:16+00:00

I needed this reminder! I forgot that the actual words you say are estimated to only be about 10% of the total message - with the other 90% being nonverbal (70%) and tonality (20%). Of course these are just estimates, but it certainly seems true to me when you really think about it

sedditpro · 2012-07-17T05:54:29+00:00

Rehearsed openers are a crutch. Not in a bad way. Think of a baby - does it just get up and start walking one day, out of the blue? No! It does its time in a walker, it gets held up by its parents, and then finally, one day it learns how to walk on its own two ickle feetsies.

Pickup is similar. Having a rehearsed opener goes beyond the opener - it gives you something to springboard on to, ie a routine. Once you have sufficient experience with opening random women and know what works and what doesn't, you can totally make up stuff on the fly and have it work.

One of the first nights I tried out a couple of lines from Mystery Method, the girl said that I have such a cool personality. Fuck me if a personality can be communicated in a couple of lines exchanged at a noisy bar, but it is what it is. That "compliment" is what gave me the boost I needed to continue doing pickup. Even the best artist starts as an apprentice and draws a bunch of still life because you have to know what works before you start letting your own thoughts flow from the brush.

whiteshirtblueshirt · 2012-07-17T17:14:02+00:00

I'm a fairly new member of seddit and this post confuses me. It seems to contradict so much of what seddit mentions with regards to alpha vs. beta conversation with women. Here's an example:

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/iq6nx/common_shit_tests_and_how_to_defuse_them/

It seems to me that, according to much of the seddit community, what a guy says does matter, and matters a lot.

Or is this post only about how pickup lines don't really matter?

NuclearPotatoes · 2012-07-17T00:11:04+00:00

those are some damn good openers...adding them to the arsenal lol

2012-07-17T07:28:20+00:00

Pet cricket, that's hilarious

46xy · 2012-07-17T09:12:30+00:00

Its not what you say its HOW you say it.

You can talk a lot of crap but if you deliver it correctly people will respond positively.

Untraced · 2012-07-17T16:24:06+00:00

A friend of a friend apparently gets laid all the time with "Do you like cheese?" as his opener.

V_Ajra · 2012-07-17T22:43:18+00:00

I liked the first opener you mentioned. Disarming!

well_honestly · 2012-07-17T03:38:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

IP3R2KO · 2012-07-17T01:33:46+00:00

Thank you for posting this! And the cricket thing...that's real good. I'm going to use that.

The other day to prove this very point to someone (he was asking me what he should say to a group of girls he didn't know), you know what I said?

"Hey, wanna see something gross? Look at my arms, I have ringworm."

I really do have ringworm, just a few small spots. It'll be gone in a few days. By the way, I also don't recommend saying anything gross like that, but the point stands. I did get a number out of it (we had some mutual friends it turns out, so that helped). What you say doesn't really matter much.

Title	What you say doesn't matter. Stop overthinking it
Author	freshpow925
Upvotes	37
Comments	19
Date	July 16, 2012 11:35 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wo6fd/what_you_say_doesnt_matter_stop_overthinking_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-you-say-doesnt-matter-stop-overthinking-it.1301923 https://theredarchive.com/post/1301923

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