What's the difference between calling her out on her bs and reacting emotionally?

e-xor · 2020-04-06T16:21:38+00:00

It's OK to be hurt and show it. It can be expressed in calm and collected way, without freaking out and being triggered, saying things from perspective "how it feels to you" and not from "how wrong she is". The good read on that is Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, he touches a lot on how to express what you need and de-escalate the tension at the same time.

Poljon · 2020-04-06T12:11:12+00:00

Don't live by those "men should..., women should..." standards. If you feel a way, show it. Now it's always better to stay calm in any situation but losing your temper over her bullshit doesn't make you wrong. We all have an ego, it's normal to be hurt or offended. Anyone mocking you for that is worthless of your time.

Insaneflirt_max · 2020-04-06T12:05:21+00:00

Nah man you're showing that if she keeps that up you're out.

SnapSocialGuru · 2020-04-06T17:06:46+00:00

You can be offended and upset, you still handle it in a strong and mature manner.

"Hey, that was kind of hurtful. I love flirting and messing around with you, but let's also be mindful of each other's feelings. Sound good?"

These aren't mutually exclusive. This is a necessary skill.

smoothmax · 2020-04-06T18:21:41+00:00

If you seriously want to call out women on BS you'd be doing it all day, every day. Women are emotional, illogical and have no real conscience about lying or exaggerating to get their way. I'm not putting them down, just saying that's the way it is.

My philosophy is, recognize women's BS as something that they do naturally. You can't call them out and win an argument, or make them respect you more or be attracted to you because you told them, "That's bullshit".

Generally speaking you want to be silent and emotionally unreactive.

Find the old Jonathan "Manwhore" lecture on youtube where he talks about emotional unreactiveness as an essential masculine trait. When someone is dissing you or flying off the handle you never mirror their state or react emotionally in any way. You keep an absolute stone face, say nothing if no reply is necessary, otherwise deal with the problem in a completely unemotional tone. When you refuse to mirror someone's emotional state they very quickly "switch it off" and calm down.

When women diss you or talk shit to you it's usually for one of three reasons: either some other chick has pissed her off, she's on the rag, or else she's testing you to see if you're an emotionally weak, pussy beta who can be baited into getting hurt and angry. Or all three.

StanDando · 2020-04-07T12:20:27+00:00

This is a brilliant question, at least from a masculist perspective.

Some 'gurus' say you should use disrespectful behaviour as an opportunity to show how unphased and non-reactive you are. That you should just ignore it like she said nothing. This flies in the face of other things they say, such as demonstrating high value and being commanding. Moreover, it encourages women to disrespect men in general, preaching that they should be unaccountable for their words and actions. Obviously, this makes it even harder for men universally.

This was a problem that I myself worked through, and in the field I found the solution quite simple. As a real man I refuse to take shit from women without, at the least, calling it out. The same with men, so this is congruent with high-value male behaviour. So I wasn't going to do or say nothing. At the same time, if you want to maintain control, being unreactive is optimal. In the field, I found that the way to do this is to deepen your voice, broaden and ground your body posture, and with your calmest expression, very calmly and firmly tell her that you think she's being disrespectful, and you don't let men talk to you like that, so why should she be any different. Or something similar - even (in a deep, calm voice), just 'Hey. You do not talk to me like that'.

The voice should be congruent with your own, but for an idea of how I do it, listen to how Tyler Durden talks. (No, not that eejot, the actual one in Fight Club).

This is of course assuming that you would want to talk to her after her rudeness. If it is a shit test, hopefully you can guage that by where you are in the progression, in which case you continue as you personally would for a shit test.

What I've found on these occasions by doing that is that she becomes more attracted to me than ever. I know what a turned on girl looks like, and some will even give you an expression a bit like the 'doggy dinner bowl look' (Mystery's term). However, my own standards usually kick in after that and I reject her instead, but that's a personal choice. The way I fuck needs the girl to be worthy of what I'm gonna do to her, and disrespectful female behaviour is a big turn-off for me.

'My desciples, you have heard, turn the other cheek. But I tell you now, an IOI for an IOI, so she doesnt start getting any fucking ideas' - Don Romeo ft. MC Jesus

Good luck

D.R.

EternalJourney · 2020-04-06T16:05:11+00:00

Show her that you got some boundaries, but don't do it if she's simply shit-testing you. Shit-tests are part of the game. But you need to have boundaries such as "if she starts smoking, I am going to leave her" and you should show her that but show it to her in an unemotional manner.

Title	What's the difference between calling her out on her bs and reacting emotionally?
Author	okabekudo
Upvotes	7
Comments	10
Date	April 6, 2020 11:54 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fvxf6y/whats_the_difference_between_calling_her_out_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-the-difference-between-calling-her-out-on.1301863 https://theredarchive.com/post/1301863

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