What's the problem with holding something (scarcely) for a girl?

puaAthens · 2013-03-12T22:46:23+00:00

Ignore that advice. It's extremely minor and doesn't happen that much. Just go out and approach thousands of girls.

For now, here's what to do:

If you've done less than, say, 2000 approaches:

If you feel like a girl is seriously trying to take advantage of you in the club, just leave her and open another group of girls.
If you don't feel she's trying to take advantage, hold the coat/purse for her, then tell her to come find you in the club. Go approach other girls, but hold her stuff. No problem.
If you're on a date, help a girl out. It's not a big deal.

goldfish188 · 2013-03-13T01:28:12+00:00

You should be able to tell when she's trying to take advantage of you or when she generally needs some help with something. For example, I was on my way in the bathroom when I saw a friend of mine at school today who was talking to a girl, when suddenly she goes "Hold my stuff, I have to pee", shoves it into his hands, and goes into the bathroom. When I came out, he was still waiting. Don't be that guy.

DevilMirage · 2013-03-12T22:16:18+00:00

My favorite reaction to this is to take whatever I'm being asked to hold and put it down on the nearest surface immediately, giving her a dirty look.

puaAthens · 2013-03-12T23:02:30+00:00

Also, this should go in r/askSeddit.

Ramwen · 2013-03-13T00:10:47+00:00

If you're afraid of sounding like a jerk just tease her about it and then hold it. In some situations girls don't do this just to test you, sometimes they need to search for something in their purse or they need to text or.. It happened to me the other day, I had to hold a cup of coffee for a few seconds, so I said "Ugh what am I? Your servant?", she teased me back and said "Oh boo-hoo! Cry-baby! Come on please, just 5 seconds". I smiled and took the cup.

However, if a girl is asking you to hold on to her purse while she's talking to other people it's clear that she's trying to take advantage of you. You can even completely ignore her and move on.

nycprowl · 2013-03-13T01:08:58+00:00

I do this to everyone not just women, but if they EXPECT me to hold it (demands like 'hold this') then I'll often say no or be like 'try again, this time with a please'

Sometimes the person demands it again and I'll just laugh and tell them no to which they get angry, if they say please then I'll hold it.

If a girl legit needs help with something, maybe tease lightly, but don't overthink it.

Tl;dr: motherfuckin manners

CauseIsaysSo · 2013-03-13T18:13:56+00:00

Wow I didn't know it's such a big deal. I constantly walk with lots of stuff, a bag, jacket, phone in my hand etc and I tell people to hold things for me very often. Girls do it, but boys sometimes hesitate which I found odd. It's never been testing anyone and I'm sure my female friends don't test boys this way either. We ask to hold things people who we trust/ like the most or feel the most comfortable with and it is natural for us to hold things for others too. I'm not talking about carrying things for people of course, or looking after them.

itsmevichet · 2013-03-13T19:22:56+00:00

It's not a big deal. All I'd say is not to become a coat hanger, as you said yourself.

However, there was a recent study that shows that getting other people to do small favors for you tends to get them to like you more. Forbes ran an article on the study, but I can't find a link to the full study itself.

So, this girl asking you to hold something for her will tend to make you like her more.

Regardless, it's an opportunity to flirt.

"Maybe if you buy me a drink."

As for this:

but won't you seem like the jerk in the situation if you say, "no," even in a teasing manor?

How in the hell would you seem like a jerk politely refusing to hold something for someone you don't know?

If they get mad, it's because they were demanding, not asking nicely.

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-03-13T04:08:08+00:00

It's a shit test. She may not even be consciously aware she's testing you.

Title	What's the problem with holding something (scarcely) for a girl?
Author	BadPubicHairDay
Upvotes	15
Comments	17
Date	March 12, 2013 9:27 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1a682p/whats_the_problem_with_holding_something_scarcely/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-the-problem-with-holding-something-scarcely.1348790 https://theredarchive.com/post/1348790

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