~ archived since 2018 ~

What's worse???

IneedHelpNowPlease · 2011-09-25T05:21:43+00:00

Being a certain age and not having had any sex or relationships at all, or having experienced some of that, being a certain age, but it hasn't happened...

IneedHelpNowPlease

September 25, 2011

1 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Post Information

Title	What's worse???
Author	IneedHelpNowPlease
Upvotes	1
Comments	20
Date	September 25, 2011 5:21 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kqna5/whats_worse/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-worse.1322976 https://theredarchive.com/post/1322976

Comments

[–]turtle_thunder 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]IneedHelpNowPlease[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]turtle_thunder 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]IneedHelpNowPlease[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]turtle_thunder 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]IneedHelpNowPlease[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]turtle_thunder 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]IneedHelpNowPlease[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I'm 26. I know you're trying to help, I'm just very frustrated that's all.

I mean, I guess this is stubbornness or something, but I've heard all of what you've just said, and it's not that I think it isn't good advice, it's just, I want to be able to do all of that successfully, I know how too, but it feels like I should be doing it more, but can't cause of a lack of things in my own life. I never learned how to hit on girls, and just, I worry about creeping them out at times as well. I mean, it's like I feel at times they should come to me.

It's like I feel I deserve and should get it now at times. I mean, it's no problem for them and other guys, why should I be treated differently? I've been having some success with online stuff, and if only I could apply that more to real life/world.

I need to try and keep going.

[–]turtle_thunder 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]IneedHelpNowPlease[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]turtle_thunder1 point 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]IneedHelpNowPlease1 point 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]turtle_thunder1 point 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Still over thinking this. It's a big problem for many guys, and not just about girls. People have troubles with everything it's just about how you get past it. It's alot simpler than you think. A way I can relate to this was losing my virginity. In high school all my friends had done it and it was really bugging me on the inside and I couldn't get over it. It was really hurting me all around and it was all I could think about. Why hadn't it happen am I that ugly? whats wrong with me? But once it finally happened I realized how little it mattered and how stupid I was for wasting all the time thinking about it. I want you to have this revalation because being on the other side I see exzctly what is happeneing with you. There is nothing wrong with you, you haven't blessed the girls with your presence yet. You are an awesome person and you are just waiting for the perfect time to let it happen. Please take this to heart, its true, now go get some

[–]porphyry3 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]IneedHelpNowPlease[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]porphyry3 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]IneedHelpNowPlease[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm in therapy. We're working on finding ways of moving forward.

Why am I self isolated? I don't know, it just became a habit, I got used to it, and it feels like it's defined me. No, I don't want to be like this,you're right, but it keeps happening. I know it's easier to change than I realize, or is it?, and if I wanted to change so badly, wouldn't I have already? I mean, I get up, and unless I have something specific to do, or money to go out, I tend to just lounge about. That's not life. That's not good, and it's been that way for a long time.

A part of it is, I have a tendency to drag my ass and not stay on top of things. I think in large part, it's cause I still live at home and haven't really had to do that, or if anything I'd need to do it more, as much as others. I mean, I'm too comfortable for the time being. I really didn't want this to happen, but it has.

"[edit:] Although this will probably be down-voted, consider an escort to medicate temporarily the need for sex."

I've considered that and haven't completely outruled it. I mean, I've always wanted something more than that,something deeper and more real, and that could be a/the problem it's self. I mean, I'm not exactly out every night looking to score so to say, or I've just never been "that guy" so to say, and yet there are others who have found a way yes?

My friend just got an escort and uh, well, it was his first, he seemed to enjoy it.

Another issue is, and this has started to concern me, I tend to look at porno alot. Like to where I might be too dependent or even addicted to it. I've tried too, and have, gone for a few days to a week without looking at it or jerking it, I've been doing it once a day for a week now when I said I wouldn't. How much of that is/could be an effect?

[–]porphyry3 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Another issue is, and this has started to concern me, I tend to look at porno alot. Like to where I might be too dependent or even addicted to it. I've tried too, and have, gone for a few days to a week without looking at it or jerking it, I've been doing it once a day for a week now when I said I wouldn't. How much of that is/could be an effect?

In my case, it has been one of the major causes of my tendency to isolate. There are several reasons for this; you tend to fulfill your sexual needs at home too easily with virtual two dimensional girls (I tend to agree with others that this is super-stimulation);

Eventually you loose interest to find real, less-than-perfect girls to fuck outside because you have plenty of "ideal" women at home whenever you want. It is a positive feedback loop; you isolate due to porn and porn causes isolation.

Besides, your testosterone (that is linked to aggressiveness, looking for a partner outside or simply be outgoing) lowers a lot with frequent compulsive masturbation.

Try to go on a moratorium. Set a schedule. I actually allow myself only once a week to jerk it. Try to not use porn; use an internet filter. Yes, you are going to relapse sometimes but you will see changes in your mood and tendency to be more social.

Porn was one of my major behavioral patterns that caused me isolation; discuss it with your therapist.

[–]IneedHelpNowPlease[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

"Besides, your testosterone (that is linked to aggressiveness, looking for a partner outside or simply be outgoing) lowers a lot with frequent compulsive masturbation."

Yeah, that concerns me. I really am trying to look at it less. I tend to do it out of boredom more than anything. I mean, if I'm like out or with people, or have something to do, it's not so likely to happen.

I mean, fuck, I hate to think this was or has been caused by looking at too much porn over the years and all time wasted doing it.

"Try to go on a moratorium. Set a schedule. I actually allow myself only once a week to jerk it. Try to not use porn; use an internet filter. Yes, you are going to relapse sometimes but you will see changes in your mood and tendency to be more social."

Yeah I'm trying to do that now and have done it at times, and I've noticed similar if not the same changes as you described.

Well, I do want to bring it up with the therapist, but it's not quite there yet. Believe me, I want to bring up alot of this stuff with them. See, I have two, one's a regular emotional/behavorial sort, the regular kind, the others is a little more meds focused, but has gone over similar things. Thing too is, they're both women. So yeah.

"Porn was one of my major behavioral patterns that caused me isolation"

I'd say for me personally it's more than that. Not that it more than likely isn't a factor, but it's also no work or money, no job, not in school school, and just loner tendencies as I can put it.

"Eventually you loose interest to find real, less-than-perfect girls to fuck outside because you have plenty of "ideal" women at home whenever you want. It is a positive feedback loop; you isolate due to porn and porn causes isolation."

See, I don't think I've had that problem. I don't and never did hold non porn/real girls up to that porn star looks standard. Believe me, I've been using okcupid for a while and the girls I've been talking with aren't that type. I mean, I'm not that unrealistic if you would. I know not all girls look the ones in porn and I don't hold them all to that unreal standard.

[–]rfu12 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link