When she asks "This isn't a date, is it?"

betarex · 2015-06-07T19:27:59+00:00

"Should it be?"

ThrowawayPUA · 2015-06-07T22:59:03+00:00

Her: This is a date, isn't it?

Him: I haven't decided yet. We'll see how it goes

cephalord · 2015-06-07T19:52:38+00:00

Yes you should. Human naturally appreciate assertiveness.

Hell, even if she doesn't want to, at least you find out sooner rather than later.

apopnotasoda · 2015-06-08T00:32:40+00:00

This happened to me but it was the opposite scenario, I had no intention of it being so... Awkward

SexySmexxy · 2015-06-07T20:16:05+00:00

"Does it look like a date?"

And I mean it's kinda hypothetical but you should question yourself.

Are you treating it like a date or a friendly get together..?

musitard · 2015-06-07T21:48:24+00:00

Don't deny it but don't confirm it explicitly. Downplay it but still be clear about your intentions.

Say something like, "I'm not going into this with any expectations. Let's just enjoy a coffee together and see where things go from there."

If she keeps pushing, say something like, "Let's avoid using labels until after it's over."

DaygameCoach · 2015-06-07T23:13:06+00:00

...I'm not sure about you yet.

acetokyo · 2015-06-08T00:21:09+00:00

"It is what you think it is." Wink and then say no more. Girls like a guy who knows when to lighten up the mood. She asking that question means she was thinking too much. There is a time and place for that, and that's time is in a private area with just the two of you.

Testrank2 · 2015-06-08T00:07:28+00:00

"Only if you want it to be"

sunday_silence · 2015-06-07T20:35:07+00:00

sort of disagree with some answers, it is a kind of test, yes. I'd be vague about it, or go for some of the funnier answers. If you try to get all serious and say "yes" this is a date" her defenses are now up. YOu've now made her nervous, she will never be in the mood.

It's arguable her defenses are up already, maybe so, so you have to find an answer to defuse it a little bit. I'd be coy, or vague, or funny. What answer do you do best? What response is YOU? Do you like to joke? are just cool and aloof? or you'd rather just take action? Be yourself, keep it vague.

To stay out of the friend zone you have to escalate and not act like just friends, when your on the date. This a pretty simple way to avoid it. I guess most of us, me included sort of get anxious at that pt, when you have to make moves on someone who is leery. this is a challenge for you. I guess best to make her feel as comfortable as possible. Timing is obviously key, you should be on your toes, buddy.

If she doesnt go for it, (light kino) ok. You back off, talk some more, escalate later and if she doesnt want to, then its over. That's fine...

What's a date anyhow? Another guy said somewhere "any one on one time with a girl is a date." Sounds like good advice (unless you really are just friends and you both are cool with it).

Look at it as a challenge. You are up against the odds, like trying to beat that horse yesterday. But a challenge should ramp you up. Get it into it!

Its caled the seduction sub after all; go for it.

EDIT: I should add, and this is typical here. That we really dont know much about your prior history. What happened back in 11th grade? Did you ever ask her out? Did you ever flat out reject you? Did you have a good time together?

All this sort of gives more context to understand this. If you simply were on the sidelines never made a move, never even talked to her. That's one thing. If you she knew you liked her, and then she told you she's not into you. That's another. If you she knew you liked her, you got all anxious and avoided her. That's another. There's so many possibilities here. What happened exactly back then? What did you two ever have? Did you ever have a good conversation? What happened the first time you guys talked? Have you ever talked?

chris1227 · 2015-06-07T20:02:10+00:00

If she is saying that, its not a good sign. You have been friendzoned.

Best option now is to be honest and tell her that you want it to be a date. She will probably say no, but better than torturing yourself and wasting your time.

You will get over it.

YukariTakeba · 2015-06-07T20:06:34+00:00

No tell her you just want to hang out with her. A date is too official. It is just a shit test.

Title	When she asks "This isn't a date, is it?"
Author	InukShaken
Upvotes	3
Comments	15
Date	June 7, 2015 7:21 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/38xs1d/when_she_asks_this_isnt_a_date_is_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-she-asks-this-isnt-a-date-is-it.1389289 https://theredarchive.com/post/1389289

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