When to touch during a first date

letsgetrandy · 2017-02-15T18:22:12+00:00

It's so funny.... I have this sub in a dating-related multireddit, but every time I see a question about touching, I always know that it's /r/seduction before I even look.

You guys constantly overthink the act of touching your dates, and this whole "kino" thing.

Look: If you're going about it like some robot, trying to follow a playbook, it's not going to work out. Likewise, if you compare what happened on one date to what happened on another, you're going to miss the bigger point that they were two different people and two different situations.

Just be natural, be fun, and don't be afraid to be a little sleazy. Sense where things are going and what your date's comfort level is, and act accordingly.

1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v · 2017-02-15T18:08:42+00:00

I like to start a first date with a nice hug. if she hugs back, or holds me tight, I will kiss her on the head.

This immediately sets the tone that this will be a physical relationship.

I always try to grab her arm-in-arm when walking, put my hand on her lower back to guide her, and work my way to holding her hand.

When sitting, I will sit next to her, and touch her foot with mine, then use my hands on her leg when I can.

All of this, while also verbally flirting with her.

With no physical contact, its almost not a real date, I might as well be out with my sister.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLY2yVPh1fo TrippAdvice How to touch for the first time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoBDe8gr0VQ Tripp Advice How to touch a girl before you kiss her

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wa9j9ZcJGRw Tripp Advice How to go from talking to kissing

I think its real awkward, to have minimal physical contact, then try to force a kiss at the end of the date.

abstractpickupartist · 2017-02-15T21:11:01+00:00

I immediately started touching a girl and just being sleazy

Not sure that touching is being sleazy. If she's smiling, it's working.

Sounds like you are good at connecting physically, in your normal approach. And, if you are usually end up in bed, you are building some attraction. On the ghost's date, did you escalate gradually to the kiss? Was there enough attraction built?

I think that if most of your dates are ending up naked, but then fizzle, it's not your approach, it's your post date skills. Why change the part that is working?

Why try something different? From your words "sleazy", "dirtbag", I feel like maybe you feel like you should be something different, or you feel like you want a different class of lady.

Figure out what you want, and aim for it.

But it feels like the ass-grabbing is the more authentic you. I'd fix the issues with afterwards with that, rather than trying to be someone else.

_DuranDuran_ · 2017-02-16T11:46:15+00:00

There's a difference between sleazy touching and just being a physical person.

MindsEvolve · 2017-02-16T23:01:30+00:00

It sounds like you're on two ends of the spectrum, but not sure how to start working on what's in between. You simply need to work on building comfort. I'd also be curious as to where these dates are coming from, if they're only responding to "sleazy" behavior.

You can force yourself to build comfort by playing a game on the first date called the cube: http://www.getinhermind.com/sure-fire-routines/five-minute-personality-test-the-cube

I've pretty much done this on every first date. PM me if you need some more advice.

SunTzuArtofWar · 2017-02-17T03:33:34+00:00

The sleazy grabbing her butt/tits within 10 minutes stuff work better. Being a "gentlemen" doesn't work

Your problem was improper bonding in your conversations

Title	When to touch during a first date
Author	taco_smasher69
Upvotes	5
Comments	20
Date	February 15, 2017 6:06 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5u948c/when_to_touch_during_a_first_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-to-touch-during-a-first-date.1420305 https://theredarchive.com/post/1420305

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