The most important mindset you can cultivate is abundance mentality, which is the intellectual belief and emotional feeling that you have (or can get) anything you want. The purpose of having abundance mentality is to cause yourself to stop caring about any particular interaction. The less you care about each individual approach and interaction, the more success you will have. You should ultimately feel like if every single woman in the venue rejected you in the most humiliating way possible, and everybody laughed at you and made you leave the venue, you could just brush it off and keep approaching somewhere else.

When you have abundance mentality, you stop putting women on a pedestal and you put less importance on each particular woman. Think of something you enjoy doing, like playing tennis. Now imagine somebody offered to play you in a tennis game where you would lose $100,000 if you lost. $100,000 is a lot of money for most people, so unless you were absolutely confident you would win, with such a big prize on the line you would probably become paralyzed with anxiety and not even want to play because you would be so afraid of losing. When you do not have abundance mentality, you feel the same way with women. Because you subconsciously see the woman as a big prize, you get anxious because you feel like you will lose a huge, important thing if you blow it and you will not have another chance to get another woman like her. If you do have abundance mentality, however, you will not care about any particular interaction because your subconscious mind will still feel like it has access to other women.

Abundance mentality is not just about feeling that women want to have sex with you. Abundance mentality is the feeling that you have abundance in everything: fun, friends, emotional experiences. Importantly, abundance mentality is also about feeling loved and accepted by the tribe. We feel approach anxiety because our subconscious mind is afraid that if we get rejected we will be an outcast and nobody will like us. But if you feel like you have a lot of men and women who like and accept you, you will not care if some random woman at a bar rejects you. This is why I always advocate that men have a good group of friends if they want to get into pick-up. It is hard to feel confident if you have no friends AND you get rejected by strangers.

Once you completely do not care how an interaction goes, you will be able to approach and escalate with women with confidence. You will also be able to be edgy, transgressive, and fun, because you will not be worried if a particular thing you say or do may offend her. By having abundance, you feel like you will lose $5 if you get rejected rather than $100,000.

Abundance mentality is also an important mindset because it eliminates the feeling of “want” from your subconscious mind. When your subconscious “wants” something, it makes that thing your primary purpose to the exclusion of everything else. For example, if you have not eaten in three weeks, your subconscious mind will make food your sole purpose and you will not be able to talk, think, or do anything else other than finding food.

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