Why are we so insecure?

altorio_sir · 2019-08-04T01:04:58+00:00

The anxiety comes from the fact that if you are rejected, that means that woman has sized you up and deemed you unfit to reproduce with lol. So its like death in a sense. An end to your genetic line. As far as that woman is concerned anyway.

PachymuNyet · 2019-08-04T00:27:11+00:00

It's a good question. Silly, really. I have less anxiety about fighting a 200lb dude than walking up and talking to a 100lb hottie.

I think the common answer is that we used to live in tribes. If you got kicked out of the tribe, you're pretty much dead. So if you botch an approach with a female, and you get kicked out of the tribe, you're dead. Hmm maybe. In modern terms, it could mean getting a reputation as a creeper with your social group, for example. It could destroy potentially friendships and cause a lot of bad feelings.

It's also a skill that most of us don't really have -- that is, walking up to a stranger and starting a conversation with the hopes that it will lead to sex and perhaps a deeper relationship. Most of us only do that a few times in our lifetimes. So we suck at it. We often have anxiety doing things we suck at. If I only played guitar a few times in my lifetime, I'd suck at it too. And if you stuck me on a stage with a guitar in my hand I'd have massive anxiety.

But yeah. Silly.

-JayVee- · 2019-08-04T02:38:04+00:00

Because me place their value on what a women thinks of them. So a rejection is like them being 'low value'.

AKA they lack confidence in themselves and let others define who they are, so they live weak lives with weak mentality which equals weak results with women since they also most likely have weak dignity.

xoxuv · 2019-08-05T01:38:11+00:00

You had been brainwashed all your life, being hammered that you are bad, that sex is bad, that men are evil, that women are innocent pure angels, that is bad to be in contact with your nature and want sex.

That's an artificially imposed schizophrenia. You believe to live in a reality that does not exist, and rules that don't work.

Realizing that you do not understand reality is scary.

Jacob_961 · 2019-08-04T07:41:20+00:00

It's a bit of a cultural thing. Women now have a lot more options. Giving women more choice would seem to benefit men. However, it is quite the opposite. Biologically women are attracted to the top 10% of guys in terms of sexual value. So more choice benefits the top 10% and hurts the bottom 90%. 100 years back there was no way a guy could have slept with 100 women, barring prostitution services, without being beat up by the village mob and the women being labeled whores forever. Women has so much more free access to guys and it is a good thing for the top 10%. Bad news for the rest. Most guys that come here are not in the top 10% or at least did not start there and our brains modulate our emotions based on context. 100 years back a girl would be so happy to receive any form of attention because it was not common. Now, there are dating apps and facebook and Instagram and girls are bombarded by attention every day. Our brains understand context and we do not operate in a vacuum so naturally your feelings will be different than most guys 100 years back. It's not a testosterone thing. It's just that the context has changed and the norms have changed. Now a girl can sleep with a 100 guys and she is exercising her right as a women to do whatever she wants. This was not possible until very recently. With a change in context, our emotional reactions modulate also.

itzReborn · 2019-08-04T13:10:48+00:00

I agree with everything everyone else said so far. For me personally it’s probably a mix of fear and anxiety. I’m 20 and never had a real relationship but it’s because it’s a lot of idks. Idk if girls find me attractive (I’ve been complimented a few times but not enough for an ego boost). Idk if I can hold conversations (I’m generally quiet/introvert) idk if I’m interesting enough(I consider myself a “cool nerd” but nerd nonetheless) I fear building up enough confidence to talk to a attractive girl only to get shot down, cause it’ll feel like a waste to me even though I’ve gain experience doing something. It’s a whole lot of factors (for me anyway) that really boil doing to overthinking and wondering if I’m good enough

TheLoveGuardian · 2019-08-04T06:06:41+00:00

This question is so easy to answer: the rise in technology increases separation between individuals. An increase in technology then also increases loneliness, envy, and coveting from afar (through the glass window in which we call our phones). Technology increase also parallels societal surplus which leads to many people living lives in overabundance which makes us more envious. This all results in women being extremely attractive on their very best days behind our phone screens. They are all like mini models now and everyone has FOMO so if you’re not doing the biggest and best thing you’re a loser or someone of low status. All male confidence drops, and they end up jerking off at home to porn and Instagram rather than interacting in the real world. Due to all of these things no ones dating anymore, casual sex is a norm and that makes everyone in every community have to interact as though they’re all sexually attracted to one another. Prior to this everyone used to be monogamous and already had a partner so they didn’t need to be confident since they were already taken. Everyone’s shy because everyone’s single

wujizimin · 2019-08-04T06:48:52+00:00

We are all afraid of new experience. Except that there are so many reason to comfort yourself.

wujizimin · 2019-08-04T06:51:17+00:00

It is kinda like skydiving. 999999999 out of a billion are safe, but you may take a toll if you are the last one.

marlboro_knight · 2019-08-04T08:36:10+00:00

I see it as your mind for some reason is a fucking a hole, and thrives to make your life worse even if you live in heaven

krimpenrik · 2019-08-04T11:06:19+00:00

It is conditioning, read up on the RedPil theory.

EarthWarping · 2019-08-04T19:55:11+00:00

Validation from other guys

lancek211 · 2019-08-04T15:25:22+00:00

To me it all comes from materialism, that anything that isn't us is seen as an object by definition. The reality is that everything you see is a part of you. Better put, if a tree falls in the forest and you aren't around to hear it, did it even fall?

Title	Why are we so insecure?
Author	Novatonavila
Upvotes	15
Comments	19
Date	August 3, 2019 11:33 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/clpgq5/why_are_we_so_insecure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-are-we-so-insecure.1475276 https://theredarchive.com/post/1475276

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