Years ago in college, I shared most of my classes with a friend -let's call her "Julia". Julia was a really good friend of mine and we shared a lot of time studying with a group of friends. At one moment I started having feelings for her but I thought she would never want to be with me and all that beta way of thinking. I idolized Julia to no end. Quite honestly, I was the typical "nice guy" who all girls liked... as a friend. I was outgoing, but lacked confidence and assertiveness, dressed pretty bad and was scared to death to approach women. I even remember this time I liked a girl and approached her and I couldn't even hold my phone because my hand was shaking.

Back in the college days, I was walking with some friends and I jokingly grabbed Julia's hand, pretending we were a couple. She let go my hand and said "omg I can't even act/joke with this, I see you as a friend or brother". Damn...

Separate ways

After graduating she got married to a guy who she ended up divorcing after some years, and she was doing a lot better by the time we met again. I did get a long term gf in college. I got a Masters degree with a kickass scholarship and things were going great. And then, after 8 years and being engaged, my gf broke up with me.

This was a turning point in my life, as a read about PUA and read Models. I like thinking breakups are actually awesome to step up in life. And it really does work: after feeling horribly for quite some time, you rise up and become a better version of yourself.

So I started recognizing and accepting who I was, seeing all my virtues and bad stuff, always focusing on improving. Began to love myself and love life. Learn new things, meet new people. I started dressing way better and working out hard. Started approaching women and began to get the abundant mentality. Things were going better!

Fast Forward: College Friends hangout

A year ago or so, I went out with some friends from college, and Julia was there.

Suddenly, everything changed. She was laughing a lot more about my jokes (not that I'm quite the comedian) and started touching my arm and so. She even told me "you've changed, idk, you are different, even your tone of voice has changed".

And indeed I had changed a lot. My friends actually told me she was into me, and joked so much around the idea of me hooking up with her. It was for real, she was showing interest in me. Messaging me, asking me if we could go to the movies, etc.

But guess what. This time things were different, and I wasn't interested in her anymore. I had a lot of better options (in my head).

The important thing here is that this wasn't revenge against Julia, especially because she never treated me badly, she was really quite a good friend! I don't feel "great" because now I had "friendzoned" her.

Instead, I felt amazing because I looked back at how the way I thought, dressed and acted had completely changed after all these years, and how inner game, along with working really hard, getting a degree, going out and meeting friends, had revealed itself in how Julia changed her view about me... Not as that nice guy who she saw only as a friend, but now as a potential lover.

So work hard on yourselves guys... But do it for yourselves, not for anyone else. Don't improve so you can get your ex back, or get out of the friendzone. Be yourselves and you'll make it!