Even in this sub, people sometimes say that those who are autistic should change the way they behave and be more empathetic in order to not only date, but to integrate into society.
Let's unpack that statement by first looking at the problem.
Autistic people are deemed less trustworthy and likable within only 10 seconds of interacting with an IQ-comparable NT.
Note that NTs preemptively judge both autistic men and women negatively long before they can accurately determine the autistic people's personalities.
Does that sound like NTs are being very empathetic to autistic people?
16% of autistic men are in a relationship compared to 46% of autistic women.
When we look at prior relationship experience, the differences become even more stark.
The above source states that most autistic women have been in relationships. In fact, they are more likely to have had relationships than even neurotypical men. The vast majority of autistic women have had sex.
But when we look at autistic men, things get beyond brutal. Only half of autistic men have even held a girl's hand. And most autistic men are virgins.
"Well bro, maybe autistic men [and only autistic men, based on the data] lack empathy bro."
But this study shows that autistic people don't lack empathy compared to NTs.
In fact, the reason why autistic people are disliked is because they have trouble producing affective facial expressions like fake smiles.
Note again that both autistic men and women have empathy but are disliked by NTs because they don't jestermaxx.
"But bro, you can't be a pussy bro. You gotta try being normal bro. You gotta learn social skills bro. You missed out on thousands of hours of social development and it's time to catch up bro."
Masking is a grueling chore for both autistic men and women.
We're not talking about simple unwillingness to try. It's literally the difference between being traumatized and mentally stable.
"Being normal" can literally traumatize an autistic person.
I can't say this enough. Society doesn't understand this point even at a basic level.
Autistic men and women struggle with the same issues with regard to broad societal acceptance. Yet, it seems like autistic men have it much harder than autistic women when it comes to dating.
r/IncelTear and r/NotHowGirlsWork are right. I really hope that some of the lurkers from those subs respond to this post.
It's clearly all our fault because:
"You're too negative bro. Those PhD scientists are also too negative bro, don't listen to stats bro, I just don't see it that way bro."
"Just traumatize yourself bro."
Share this post in other subs so people can see how defeatist and nihilistic those PhD psychologists and psychiatrists really are.
I also hope society will realize that it's obviously autistic men's fault that they don't date because they're not willing to traumatize themselves.
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