My wife and I have been together for 10 years, married for almost 5. We have 3 girls 7, 3, and 2. Last night my wife and I we called it quits.

There have been ups and downs, but there was one moment in particular that she said she lost all trust in me and just can't get over it. No one cheated. It was about bills, finances, and getting a 2nd job. Admittedly, I fucked up I took the whole thing as an attack when really she was trying to get me too step up. I admit it I fucked that up royally. Again miscommunication I took it as an attack when she really meant that she wanted me to get a 2nd job.

We're both hard headed and we've noticed that whenever we communicate it feels like we're having two different convos. Especially, when it comes to the serious matters revolving around our marriage.

We separated for a year. I was in counseling, as was she and then we started marriage counseling. I also am/was battling severe depression. I will say when she wanted to separate I felt blindsided. Seems like a common theme in here and it's making me realize that men and women do not know how to communicate properly and effectively especially when in their marriage.

During our separation we made some big changes. I sacrificed my pretty decent paying job to accommodate her so that she could pursue her career. I ended up going back to school and I'm almost done just have this semester and next and then I'm done.

It sucks I love this woman dearly, but I can't continue to see her hurt and just not all in. I want both of us to be happy as does she. She admitted she still has a lot of work to do on herself and that it's probably playing a factor. However, we've both decided this is it.

She cried. We had some tough topics of conversations. Surprisingly, I took it pretty well I think for me I realized that this wasn't working. Also during the separation I pretty much cried every night for 2 months, and then every so often after that.

I couldn't help but feel like such a piece of shit. I felt like I failed my wife, my kids, and the family. When we decided to get back together I was very happy. However, through therapy it made me realize that I needed to prepare for either outcome. I think that and the fact that I was a mess for almost a year is a reason I haven't cried yet? Maybe this is something I thought was going to be the outcome either way and therefore I'm more accepting of it? Maybe it truly hasnt hit me yet? It feels very real and I know it's over and I'm not surprised. I'm hurt, I still feel like I failed, but at the end of the day I don't want to force someone into something they don't want to be all in on.

I couldn't sleep last night after our convo so I ended up taking a walk/jog for two hours, just thinking and praying. It really cleared my head but I know I'm going to need plenty more of these walks just to keep my head from going to negative places. Also reach out to my therapist to meet.

I just can't stop thinking about the girls and how this is going to affect them. As I'm typing this it's making me want to cry. I never wanted this for them, but I also don't want them growing up in a house where the parents aren't truly in the marriage. I just know I have to continue to be a rock for them as does my wife. Must of told the girls a million times today how much I love them. Breaks my damn heart knowing what's about to happen and we haven't said anything to them yet.

We both agreed this needs to be a smooth and easy transition for all of us. We plan on speaking tomorrow to start making the plans for this transition. I'm fucking gutted but I know deep down this is what is best for all of us.

Fellas any advice?

We're also not trying to go after each other for anything. Trying to keep this as cordial as possible. Sorry for ranting I just need to get this all off my chest as I don't want to tell anyone else yet, and yes this is a throw away account.