Need help

Mundane-Surround-325 · 2024-04-30T18:46:35+00:00

Sat looking at my ex at a family event. Exterior almost the same. - - But inside that scaffold, I thought, is another, not likable creature, capable of hurting me, if I try to come close. If I let go of the one she once was, I am more free to be dad and to take care of my own life.

KillerUndies · 2024-04-30T18:42:10+00:00

I understand what you're going through. When mine asked for seperation I begged and when she gave me a list of demands I did anything she asked and it got me nowhere except used.

Once I got tired of giving it was over. Not including details, but I moved out a second time and here are some things im doing to get over her:

-Only see her at kids functions or pick up/drop off. Nothing else.

-I asked her to stop calling me directly unless it's an emergency. Google Meet is fine when she calls to talk to the kids.

-Took her photo out of my wallet and put it in a safe place.

-Changed her name in my contacts.

-No longer doing things for her in the marital home when she asks.

Always be respectful. Don't respond immediately if you know it's not going to be positive on your end. It hurts but these are the steps you must take to protect yourself.

You got this, champ.

Mundane-Surround-325 · 2024-04-30T18:38:26+00:00

I'm sorry you feel like this. Know that you are not alone here. Other guys here to lean on, who went through same. Find supportive people who can understand. And, you have to exchange your perception of her with a new, realistic one: She is not the sweet one you had, but the bitter tasting one she changed herself to be now, even if her exterior seems the same one. The one you had is nowhere to be found now. Now be best dad you can be, and be ours and your own most supportive friend.

CulturedGentleman921 · 2024-04-30T18:34:16+00:00

Use a coparenting app like "Our Family Wizard" to handle the kids with your ex.

Block her on everything else.

If you don't have family that can pick them up and drop them off, then I suggest a mutual friend if possible.

Otherwise, spend as little time as possible when picking up and dropping off. Do not look at her or engage her in conversation. Keep answers as concise as possible. One word answers if possible.

oldschool818 · 2024-04-30T15:38:43+00:00

This will sound like a shallow reply, but it’s a proven fact. You have to take your focus off her, and apply it to yourself and your kids.

She is nothing more than trash taking itself out.

Start with the basics to get yourself on track. Hydration, meals even if you have to force them down. Exercise hard…gym if possible, pushups and whatnot if necessary. These will give you a clear mind to make the right decisions. No alcohol or drugs, period. Only makes things worse.

Title	Need help
Author	Economy_Plan4976
Upvotes	4
Comments	6
Date	April 30, 2024 5:20 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1cgkz8h/need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/need-help.1516896 https://theredarchive.com/post/1516896

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