Spousal Support

xX-DataGuy-Xx · 2025-10-29T15:55:38+00:00

I am fighting this right now. Edit: UT family court

Married 34 years. Wife never worked, never did housework, never got education... because I made enough for the both of us.

At time of divorce, I made 10k/mo and had about 400k net worth.

My lawyers and hers told me I was facing 30 years of 5k/mo alimony and 200k in cash.

I settled, begrudgingly, on 3k/mo for 8 years.

I then lost my job, the job market tanked, but i got another at 8k/mo. I am 55 and was supposed to retire early with the net worth, now I have nothing. So I am trying to modify alimony, pro se.

One of my strategies is that since she got over 200k in tax free cash over the last year from me, that should certainly be good enough for her to get back on feet. Another is that my age and cognitive decline contribute to my inability to find work and that I am forced to retire early.

HerbEverstanks · 2025-10-29T13:37:20+00:00

Please update when this has a ruling/outcome

thraxx171 · 2025-10-29T04:30:57+00:00

Hope this helps:

Scenario assumptions

Marriage length: ~15 years (~180 months)

Situation: Urban/suburban AZ, good income for you (upper‑middle class), her earning capacity somewhat lower (you’ll have to detail yourself)

She doesn’t trigger the full “Rule of 65” exception (you’d have to check her age + marriage length = 65+ for that to apply) state48law.com+2state48law.com+2

Aim: Settlement vs trial

Best‑Case Settlement Scenario

Duration: Using the “30‑50% of marriage length” heuristic → ~15 yrs × 30% ≈ 4.5 years, or closer to 5 years if she cooperates.

Monthly payment estimate: Let’s say your take‑home monthly income (after tax/deductions) is $10,000 (just an example). If many cases do 20‑35% of take‑home pay → payment ~$2,000‑$3,500/month.

Outcome: You settle early, reduce legal fees, clearly agree terms, she starts self‑sufficiency plan, you get clarity and move on.

Worst‑Case Trial Scenario

Duration: If she qualifies for “Rule of 65” or the court decides she needs longer for self‑sufficiency due to age/career break, you might be looking at 6‑8 years (or under new rules up to ~12 years for very long marriages) Dodge & Vega PLC+2housefamilylaw.com+2

Monthly payment estimate: Keeping same income assumption ($10k/month take‑home), if the percentage is higher (say 30‑40%) because bigger income/standard of living gap → ~$3,000‑$4,000/month or more. Plus you pay more in lawyers, more stress, more time.

Outcome: You fight it out, risk more time paying, less control, harder to budget and move forward.

What this means for you

Use the best‑case numbers as your target when you negotiate. “I’m willing to do ~5 years at ~$2,500/month” (or whatever your numbers yield) is a credible settlement starting point.

Use the worst‑case numbers to motivate you: “If we’re not reasonable, we’re headed to 8+ years at $3,000+ a month (plus fees)”. Let her see the incentive to settle.

Ask each lawyer: “What’s your estimate based on my income + her income + duration + age?” Get that in writing if you can (or at least documented).

Keep your own finances tightly dialled: know your take‑home, know what you’ll still need after payments, know how much you can realistically afford without going broke.

Have the talk with her: “Let’s cut this short, we’ll both come out with more if we do. Only the lawyers win if this drags.” Make it clear.

Stay calm, focused, and strategic. The clearer your numbers, the stronger your negotiation hand.

StinkyButt_McStinkin · 2025-10-28T22:44:55+00:00

Posting in my own post. A lawyer just sent me this and I thought I'd share:

https://www.superiorcourt.maricopa.gov/app/selfsuffcalc/

Title	Spousal Support
Author	StinkyButt_McStinkin
Upvotes	2
Comments	5
Date	October 28, 2025 9:22 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1oilw97/spousal_support/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/spousal-support.1565261 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565261

Comments

Hope this helps: