So Paranoid

Acceptable_Piano4809 · 2025-10-22T14:13:57+00:00

Ok I went to trial!

My ex wife nor I introduced any text messages in discovery. She knew we could both embarrass each other big time just by the dumb every day stuff taken out of context.

Then night before full blown trial (only 1% will ever have to do this) her lawyer accidentally sent my lawyer screenshots of text messages. I couldn’t believe it and didn’t care as I didn’t think she could do this.

DAY OF trial, she submits text messages and judge allows them in (stupid ass judge I’m appealing the ambush!). She did this solely to embarrass me without giving me a chance to embarrass her.

My wife has fought one of the dirtiest divorces I’ve ever heard of. She made less than $30k gross, came into the marriage w nothing, moved into my home I owned for 15+ years w my dad, and never contributed anything, no joint accounts, and she still got a 6 figure settlement for a 6 year “short marriage” w no children. She got pregnant during our trial w APs baby, and they moved in together and collected temp maintenance off me for 18 months at $1600/month. Her income during our last FDS? $885/month working plus the $1600/month I was paying her for her and her BF to live together and have a baby together . Then the judge ordered me to give her half the equity in my home “I owned 15 years before the marriage, she was not on the deed, title or mortgage and made no contributions to the mortgage, taxes, upkeep or improvement” yet he splits equity w her 50/50.

I’m appealing this!

Gattsama · 2025-10-22T05:19:38+00:00

Almost never. The best thing you can do is remember that divorce is a legal process. Almost all states are no fault. No fault means exactly that, it doesn't matter what either of you did, should have done, didn't do, could have done, etc.

There will be a 50/50 split of all communal assets and debts ; if you have children you have to decide on custody, residency, in support if either party qualifies; if either party qualifies, you work out spouse of support.

That's the entire process. It doesn't matter if there is domestic violence, cheating, people spending too much money, they moved one of their family members in, they moved in their affair partner. The courts do not care.

If you live in a state where cheating matters for spousal support, or state where spousal support is capped or exceeding limited, that stool is due to the law; not due to any text messages or things that you should or should not have done.

Look up the rules for your state, talk to an attorney if necessary for greater clarity. The system is the system, and while the system is fundamentally broken, it is what it is.

Title	So Paranoid
Author	StinkyButt_McStinkin
Upvotes	1
Comments	6
Date	October 22, 2025 5:06 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1oczfrl/so_paranoid/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/so-paranoid.1564715 https://theredarchive.com/post/1564715

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