20 year marriage, 4 kids not out of the house yet, and a wife that refuses to work and contribute financially.

She started an eBay business but uses that as an excuse to go shopping every day. She is a hoarder and everything is piled in her office and hallways. She has repeatedly put us into incredible credit card debt, with cards she opens up without telling me. I’ve bailed us out by selling all my crypto and refinancing the house, but the writing is on the wall that eventually we will lose the house if she doesn’t start contributing.

We now sleep in separate rooms and hardly speak. I have so much resentment that it makes conversations difficult and usually ends up in an argument.

Divorce will cause us to sell the house and split the debt. I will probably live in poverty if I take the debt, find a new place to live, and pay child support and probably alimony. I’m hoping she will change and get a job and pull us out of this mess, but I think it’s wishful thinking and maybe it’s time to cut the loss.

I’ve been dealing with this stress not so well. I’m becoming suicidal and depressed which is just causing more of a rift.

I need advice Reddit