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[–]littlecuteroseFDS Newbie54 points55 points56 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
From my experience, literally every man has done this offense at least once, even family.
[–]extraacct1234Ruthless Strategist40 points41 points42 points 6 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Once I had a guy make up what I know believe to be a lie. He claimed that his friends told him that I was not smart and he was obviously just with me for my looks. At the time I thought it was really odd since his friends and I couldn't even speak to each other because they didn't speak my language and I didn't speak his language, I was living in a foreign country. Also I only met these friends one time very briefly in passing. Why would they claim I was stupid?
I had a lot of confidence and I think he just said this to try to take me down a notch so he would feel better. He was very narcissistic but also very insecure and I now believe that he suffers from narcissism. He was also an abuser. This was just one of his many layers of attacks.
I've also had them take me down a notch when I talked about feeling confident about my body, been smiling and feeling confident, sometimes they like to insult your looks or intelligence or other factors when they're attracted to you and actually like you and they feel that they're catching feelings or even if you're obviously liking them and they are commitment phobic, when talking about things that I've built or fixed, talking about using tools, knowing things about cars, having an opinion, demanding literally anything, having literally any confidence. And more. One time I even talked about taking wood shop in middle school and that triggered the guy so bad had different immediately insult me. Another time I made an intelligent commentary on a conversation with a bunch of guys on a subject I had just studied and this dude was compelled to act outrageously shocked that I would even be intelligent enough to come up with something intelligent to say.
[–]persephones_torchFDS Disciple35 points36 points37 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
There is no one more hated than a confident woman, have you noticed that?
It's like you can't be beautiful, intelligent, and confident. You must be beautiful but act like you aren't. Must be smart... but act like you aren't.
I work with the smartest woman in my workplace. But she can't sound too smart because she intimidates all the old white men. She has to ask her questions in this sweet tentative way (even though that's not her personality. She has to phrase her suggestions like questions... because to do otherwise will make people less likely to listen to her. It sucks.
[–]extraacct1234Ruthless Strategist10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah. It's a mess.
[–]CuriousCatNYC777Ruthless Strategist71 points72 points73 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is why they gaslight us endlessly.
[–]Throwaways355FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They’re mad they can’t control us as easily anymore.
[–]persephones_torchFDS Disciple56 points57 points58 points 6 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
One example: shaming JLo and Shakira for the halftime performance. Two powerful sexy Latinas giving an amazing performance and all puritanical America was outraged because it was too risque. Really?? America really is scared of women owning their sexuality because it gives women too much power once we start being unashamed about celebrating our bodies, our femininity, our sensuality.
[–]Bitemebitch00FDS Apprentice16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Is our femininity powerful? Real question. Like I’ve always been shamed for it all my life.
[–]jetpatchAt-Risk Pick Me Youth[S] 21 points22 points23 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I just read an article which said "women today prefer the sexual power of Pamela Anderson to the purity of Pamela Andrews". I thought "what countries is Pamela Anderson running now?" Most men think she an idiot and a joke because she's good looking. She constantly suffers from stalkers and crazy guys coming after her. What power does she have from femininity? A women considered the most beautiful, most sexy in the world. She had nothing but trouble.
[–]Sekina7FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I believe that’s she’s beautiful but not strategic and clued you enough , having power is cancelled out if you don’t know how to use it and play your hand well -being beautiful doesn’t equal having hug self esteem and being clued up about men . This is why so called gold diggers are hated by men and Male identified women. Because they Ives heavily in themselves and forgo fake morality to use men’s weaknesses against then thigh funnily enough not by force lol , and get the best deal for themselves !!
[–]persephones_torchFDS Disciple22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yes. I don't know how to explain it but since I've started living by myself, I have discovered my femininity and womanhood. Not living with a man, no. Living by myself.
There are days when I am feeling down. I strip in front of the mirror, I put on earthy, sensual music, I look in the mirror and I celebrate my body. I touch the curves, roundness and softness, something society tries to define every now and then with ads and mass marketing... they are all meant to be there.
My thighs are soft. My belly is round. Nobody can see anyone but me. There are no flaws. Just soft roundness... like a woman's body should be. I sway my hips left and right and enjoy the freedom of dancing with no one watching and feeling alive. I think of the powerful women from the past who danced like I did. Don't you wonder how you just innately know how to move your hips sensuously? To enjoy the beat?
There are no men to see you, but only you to see yourself. And you look in the mirror and tell yourself "this is my womanhood" and "I am beautiful". And you feel the power of being a woman, the confidence of being comfortable in your skin. No shame, everything is meant to be there and everything is beautiful.
Sounds a little woo-woo but the days I do this... it's almost like you're recharging.
[–]minkeyayeFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
In the not too distant past you would have been accused of being a witch and seductress for loving being a woman. Your embarrassment that you may sound a little woo-woo is another remnant of them trying to separate you from your inner connection. Embrace the woo!
Before science, the subtle wisdom of intuition, herbs, body language, etc. (SO MUCH ETC.), was a woman's domain. These things are all still true. Men try to discount the subtle arts because science is where they excel, and they fear what gives women power and not them. But both are valid and neither are wrong.
My favorite quote right now is 'magic is just science we don't understand yet'. We harnessed the power of lightning for our convenience and can measure electricity in the heart and brain, ffs.
[–]persephones_torchFDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I love this comment so much. It describes what I have not been able to explain or organize in my head and put into words.
And yes, when I do what I describe, it almost feels like magic, like witchcraft, exactly like you said. I am connecting spiritually with something else and it gives me an amazing energy. And I get this smile, I look at myself in the mirror, I don't even recognize my expression because it's like this knowing, confident, earthy woman smile.
I am embracing the woo!
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Haha, that sounds fun. I kind of do that, too... but I listen to deep house. I love living alone.
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Not just that, but the amount of comments from the guys that were at the small super bowl thing I went to about their age was so disappointing. All the girls there were like wow, they look incredible and we were singing along and all that. All the guys were like, she's ancient, how old are they, they are old, blah, blah, blah. So stupid.
[–]NotAnOriginalName_9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I didn't realize it until I read your comment but I had almost the exact same experience. I was with my friends (22-24 yo both men and women) and some parents (ranging 50-60s roughly). All the men in the parents group were only concerned about the women's ages (luckily that wasn't the case among my friends). When the ages were revealed, it was interesting because all the women were almost more in awe because it's like "look at these women owning themselves and their sexuality even as they age which is something we're often told to do the opposite and hide" while the men were like "oh she's too old."
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exactly! It's so stupid! Too old for what?! Yet they see nothing wrong with watching porn with titles like, barely legal and anything with the word teen in it! GTFO! 🤢
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well, the women in their porn collections are younger, you see. The other assholes get pissed when hot older women get publicity, because it ruins their coping mechanism for getting older. They're used to telling themselves "men don't get older, women do! Ahhhhhh, now I few a little better as an aging man."
I dated a guy who on several occasions, would use the word "hag" to describe gorgeous, middle-aged actresses.
This guy, I later found out, was totally committed to lying about his age. He shaved nearly a decade off. I can't even...
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]persephones_torchFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Weird, that's not what I saw. I'm a minority woman and I thought it was powerful and admirable. Not really something they were doing for the male gaze but "HERE WE STILL FUCKING ARE, WORLD. You told us we'd be irrelevant in the celebrity world after 30, YET HERE WE STILL FUCKING ARE. GO SUCK IT."
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I get what you mean, and is good that women after 30 and who aren’t white, are considered openly sexy. But it still comes back down to the fact that women are only considered relevant if men get boners over them - why is that the thing that defines our worth and even sexual attractiveness as women? Not sure if I’m articulating this very well. But the fact that we have women who are usually discriminated against, being deemed as worthy of objectification, doesn’t mean that we have progressed anywhere at all.
[–]persephones_torchFDS Disciple10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I get this perspective as well and you articulated it well, thank you.
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
They are only relevant if they can cause men to get boners. What I saw was 2 women trying to show that they can still give men boners
[–]SbplaintFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What I saw (as someone who already agonizes enough about how Britney and Jessica, hell, even Selena, Miley and Demi at this point, are feeling; more than is normal for someone in her late thirties, childless and unmarried probably should, lol...but I digress...) was two legendary female performers who first came-up back when I was in high school 20+ years ago straight OWNING that whole stadium, not to mention every tuned-in living room across the world!! Like, you don't have to be a fan of Lady Gaga, Pink, Kim K etc...but there was something so powerful and palpable about that performance that kinda just brought out the heart-eyed emoji in all of us old enough to remember everything that they had to go through to get to that stage. You could practically hear the sappy tears running down Kim K, Lady Gaga's and Pink's cheeks in their tweets. I dunno, I just felt it was so much bigger than just sexuality this time.
And this is the root cause of all men made religion , slut shaming etc...
This is the root inspiration for man made patriarchal religions and policing women’s sexuality -it’s the most sought after commodity in the WORLD and if women knew how much power they really had and didn’t fall prey to so called “morality politics “ there would never be a poor women again!
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[–]littlecuteroseFDS Newbie54 points55 points56 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]extraacct1234Ruthless Strategist40 points41 points42 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]persephones_torchFDS Disciple35 points36 points37 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]extraacct1234Ruthless Strategist10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CuriousCatNYC777Ruthless Strategist71 points72 points73 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Throwaways355FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]persephones_torchFDS Disciple56 points57 points58 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]Bitemebitch00FDS Apprentice16 points17 points18 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]jetpatchAt-Risk Pick Me Youth[S] 21 points22 points23 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Sekina7FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]persephones_torchFDS Disciple22 points23 points24 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]minkeyayeFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]persephones_torchFDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]NotAnOriginalName_9 points10 points11 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (5 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]persephones_torchFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist18 points19 points20 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]persephones_torchFDS Disciple10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SbplaintFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sekina7FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sekina7FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link