How do you muster up the courage?

UnitedHoney · 2020-08-22T22:37:34+00:00

Personally, I have dealbreakers. It’s not like “oh he likes sweet tea so I’m gonna walk out”. No like “he’s justifying racism”. Once I hear a BIG dealbreaker, I lose all emotion. It ain’t it sis.

AbundantOverflow · 2020-08-22T23:21:59+00:00

What is the point of being polite if a date is so bad that you’re bailing on it? Care less about being liked or “nice” and more about your personal happiness. I’ve only walked out of 2 dates - 1 because he asked me to pay (I found the waiter and paid my portion then left without speaking to the date) and another because he raised his voice. In neither case did I worry about being polite. I was done, and I needed to leave. So I did. Keep it simple.

MakeURegret · 2020-08-22T23:55:04+00:00

Two things:

Think of it like a business. Imagine if a candidate showed up for an interview and they handed the interviewer a resume that did not match the one they submitted online. And in fact the one they hand over in person had way less experience. Do you think the business would have the interviewer waste any of their precious time on the candidate? No, the interviewer would say “is this your real resume?” And after hearing yes this is the real resume. “Okay I think we’re looking for different things. Bye.”
If you’re all finding it difficult to break the conversation and/or the natural date flow. Just suddenly “remember” that you left the curling iron/straightener/air conditioning/stove/sprinkler on at home and you have to go home RIGHT NOW to turn it off. Poof you’re gone.

KetoKittenAround · 2020-08-22T23:55:49+00:00

Just think about all the dates you wished you had walked out on.

Maybe it was the guy who insisted upon driving even though the restaurant was within walking distance from your home and then he turned to you to pay for the parking...

Maybe it was that time he SAID you were going somewhere nice but then you ended up somewhere crap.

Perhaps that one time he made a comment on your eating habits or volume of food?

How about when you had to smile vacantly at a man who talked forever about himself.

The list goes on and on. Once you think back and realize you WISHED you had walked out... it makes actually doing it pretty easy.

PS Men COUNT on our socialization to be polite. Break free. If you want no part of it then you want no part it. These men aren’t worried about being polite.

RiteWriter · 2020-08-23T01:12:50+00:00

There will be ONE GUY that just has so much audacity it overrides your FREEZE response—you can barely control your laughter as you watch the train wreck unfold.

I had one egoic French guy at dinner that was worse than the worst comedy show mixed with bad reality TV. I walked out but offered to pay my half first and apologized for laughing. I was earnest.

It increases from there haha.

Forget about him. He is a fucking stranger without respect for you. You don’t owe him some code of common “pickmeesque” courtesy. LVM use social courtesy (and women’s socialized empathy) to control or “tame” women.

BerryCocoLove · 2020-08-23T16:17:39+00:00

I’ve walked out on a few, one was blatant disrespect and the other one triggered my flight or fight response.

The first guy was in the process of negging me and subtly talking about how one girl he hooked up with in the past was better than me. Ok, point taken. So the minute he went to the bathroom I grabbed my coat and left without saying a word. Since I was in the fun side of town and already dressed up I went out on my own and had a great time. He blew my phone up that night but I didn’t care

The other guy was straight up creepy and I met him on OLD. He didn’t laugh at anything I said and never smiled once. He talked about himself a lot and I was grossed out at the place he had chosen for us to have drinks/dinner. I just blurted out “this isn’t working for me, I’m leaving”. I only ordered wine at that point and I just bolted, no other way to explain that I felt creeped out

Title	How do you muster up the courage?
Author	WildTenderness
Upvotes	29
Comments	15
Date	August 22, 2020 10:32 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ierx9m/how_do_you_muster_up_the_courage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-do-you-muster-up-the-courage.258220 https://theredarchive.com/post/258220

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