I, just like many others over here, am a former pick-me (btw I’m curious to know if anyone has ever NOT been a pick me before and if so, HOW?!). I’ve been a lurker of FDS for the past 2 months and honestly, not even therapy has helped me as much as this sub. I now categorize every non romantic interactions in my life as well into queen 🆚 doormat shit. It has been liberating to say the least - I stand up for myself at work, I don’t feel sorry for saying “no” to things, I got promoted and immediately decided to leave my toxic team and moved to greener pastures, and my mental health has never been better (this, despite the fact that I’m currently in India amidst a raging second wave. In fact, having sound mental health has been so useful in these times for myself and my community)

Some key highlights from my pick-me past for the Wall of Shame - - I used to be married to a toxic LVM for 3 years and we had known each other for 7 years before that. Yet I did not see 🚩 🚩 🚩 - We both worked full time yet I did all the work around the house and “applauded” him when he did the dishes. I truly believed that he was a catch LOL - He had very unhealthy eating habits, was obese yet I married him because he was “nice” to me and I thought I could “change” him and turn him into a Greek God with my love LMAO - I used to raise concerns about his eating habits, his drinking binge, his pot obsession and he’d throw a fit about it saying that I was being controlling (just like my mom, he once said) 🤢 - I dated another guy post divorce who couldn’t get it up and had that “45 degree dick” syndrome mentioned earlier here. I thought it was shallow of me to want an erect, healthy, porn-addiction-free dick and that I should see his “true nature” ☠️ - I also dated another guy with a dick so tiny that I honestly thought it was cut off at some point and was growing back now. But continued because he had an “amazing heart” 🤦🏽‍♀️

However, most recently after I was just introduced to FDS and started dating this guy who I went for dinner with, which he paid for, I started applying FDS principles and vetted the shit out of him. Especially because he was an OLD find (Deleted that shit). Obviously he didn’t meet the bar (duh) because 1) he only texted via Instagram and never asked me for my # 🚩 2) he kept texting but did not ask me out for a second date within a week. LVM probably thought it was my “turn” 🚩 3) posted a story about a hike and lunch date with a girl 🚩

I’m blissfully single right now and as I’m getting older (and richer 😬), I’m finding it harder to want to share my hard earned peace of mind and stability with anyone. I’m living with my parents now through this lockdown, who love me and care about me so much, that I don’t think any man can ever come close to. I have fully accepted the idea of perpetual single hood with loads of travel, self care, reading, learning and helping out my community, and I’ve never felt calmer. 😊

Thank You Queens! 👑 🙏🏽