Hello everyone

I understand that I have not submitted a link but wanted to ask a question instead.

As a feminist I strongly identify with male needs and believe that we cannot reach gender equality without addressing hypermasculinity and just general notions of masculinity. What I mean by that is dispelling myths that all men want sex all the time, that men have to be the breadwinners, that men are bad fathers, that men have an inherent right to sexual access and womens bodies etc. Media representing men as slightly stupid, plain husbands are a perfect example of those sort of symbols.

I think there is alot of shame that comes with identifying with the ale gender, especially in relation to a seemingly endless ability of viritility.

So I wanted to ask, what do men dislike about notions of masculinity. Many women for example have abandoned the notions that they have to be weak, submissive etc. But what about men? It is frustrating to me because there is so little dialogue about the problems of masculinity.

I have been a lurker on this sub red for a while and have noticed the focus of false rape reports (especially those of children). I understand that false reports are harmful, and in fact they are harmful to men, women, femininsts non feminists and everyone in between. But as men, why is there a rallying around men who have been accused of rape? Should you not be shaming these individuals to try and delineate men who do not rape from those who do? There seems to be an inverse silent culture on rape acceptance rather than shame within the male community.

I completely agree that women also participate in domestic violence and that there are a multitude of other issues, as I have already said, to do with the construction of masculinity and what it means to be a man.

So I would like to hear from people what they think these issues are and what is being ignored in the current discussions (or the lack thereof) about being male gendered.

EDIT: Just a quick comment after reading the responses. I agree with most people here, especially (and ironically) with ignatiusloyola. But I just get the sense that there is a bitterness and anger at women for somehow neglecting men and men's roles? I am just confused because I don't understand why men do not actually talk about this more openly. There are no men's groups at my Uni for example (and not because they were blocked by some conspiracy but simply because no one seems to want one) and I know of only several in Australia, one of which is the Fatherhood Foundation and unfortunately shoots itself in the foot by being very religious. But the fact is that the lack of attention upon men's issues must be taken up by men. Just as feminist arguments were first initiated by women (for the most part) shouldn't men push these issues into the open? I have asked my bf this several times but he just says that what society wants him to be, in terms of masculinity, he ignores and rises above. He says that he doesn't care and if men decide to pressure themselves its their fault. I just find this argument really narrow.