Boyfriend constantly canceling

M_riane · 2016-08-16T07:11:44+00:00

Canceling at the last moment, multiple times, definitely warrants a conversation. Tell him how it makes you feel and that this is not how you want the relationship to proceed. Be clear about what your boundaries are. Guys respect girls with boundaries a lot more than doormats. If the situation doesn't improve, you'll have some thinking to do. Good luck!

mensafloyd · 2016-08-16T18:48:26+00:00

There's a lot of hamstering with this thread. I'll just give you some straight up Red Pill truth. You're a fucking plate and Chad is fucking other women. Case in point:

-Chad (sic) has recently started blowing me off to hang out with his friends. He says we're gonna go out and then last second cancels.

-You're completely right it's just hard because I love him and when he's present everything is awesome I just feel like when he's not there isn't much effort coming from him

*How are the other parts of your relationship, *such as your sex life?

-They're fantastic it's just when it comes down to plans they just never happen

sharontravels · 2016-08-16T04:28:07+00:00

I would bring your problem to your captain. You want to do it in person and not make him defensive.

Kiddingyoself · 2016-08-16T18:14:31+00:00

It's funny, this seems totally unacceptable to me, and I feel like suggesting you come to an understanding about it asap, &/or leave the situation... but at the same time, I do remember a transition in my life, and some of my friends lives, when they've always lived one way, and unexpectedly find their lives & schedules very different. There's somethings to learn about being in an LTR, and also at many stages of maturity, and at least for me, some of them were kind of a surprise.

This guy could be a disrespectful jerk, or he could just not have given all of this much consideration. If you talk with him, and understand each other, maybe you can come up with a better strategy for planning things, changing plans with minimum notice, what's a special exception, and what you guys need from each other, etc.. I'm not suggesting dictating terms, but simply to understand each other, and work together on a strategy that works best for the both of you.

Delixcroix · 2016-08-16T04:35:08+00:00

One of my exes had that problem. I honestly broke it off. If your not even around each other long enough for you to be happy it really isn't much of a relationship. Better off to be friends and find someone who will seek you out.

Honest communications step 1. Step 2 is having the strength to move on if your captain doesn't make the time for you. Those day to day moments are pretty important to ensure your getting a relationship out of your relationship.

This could be biased bad advice but in my scenario with my ex they were keeping me at an arms length from friends and family and keeping themselves at an arms length from my friends and family... So it was kind of Netflix and Chill in relationship form... Before Netflix existed. Anyways they didn't come to my birthday (Which I am pretty sensitive about my Metis family goes foshing and hunting on my birthday and rarely gave me the time of day... TLDR; My birthday means a lot to me as I have only had 2 birthday parties from age 1 to 20.) and I broke it off that night with a call saying they weren't taking it seriously. It was the right call.

You know my story and bias behind why I say a captain thats not manning the RelationSHIP isn't great to first mate for.

GaySwanson · 2016-08-16T04:14:07+00:00

How are the other parts of your relationship, such as your sex life?

pinkdrawings · 2016-08-16T05:58:07+00:00

Bring him your problem. This could be something serious like not being interested anymore, or just wanting more time with friends.

loneliness-inc · 2016-08-17T17:59:43+00:00

It's okay if it happens once in a blue moon and comes with an apology. Things come up and that's life. However, if it happens repeatedly or if no apology comes, there's an issue to address.

The first thing you need to discuss is what you each expect of each other in this regard. He may feel that x time together is enough while you may feel that y time together is needed. You need to discuss it and reach an agreement.

Cancelling at the last second is the biggest concern. It isn't acceptable for an adult to cancel without explanation/apology. It isn't okay for it to be a frequent thing even with an apology.

rainyweathergirl · 2016-08-17T19:30:44+00:00

Have you sat down and talked to him? He could just be taking your relationship for granted.

Title	Boyfriend constantly canceling
Author	gracie1014
Upvotes	5
Comments	18
Date	August 16, 2016 1:26 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4xwzp7/boyfriend_constantly_canceling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/boyfriend-constantly-canceling.86392 https://theredarchive.com/post/86392

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