Video Games

PumpkinSummer · 2016-10-10T17:09:55+00:00

My man anxiously awaits certain game releases and when they come out, he sometimes spends days camped out in his office/man cave. It's never bothered me before because I know it's not like it's some crazy obsession that is going to ruin our lives (like gambling).

Personally I will let him do his thing and listen with real attention when he wants to excitedly tell me something about the game. I will also just spend time near him in the same room, reading or browsing Pinterest.

I think maybe you should try and accept his love for this game and wait it out. He won't be obsessed forever. My experience sounds a little different then yours, but that's my view on it.

Lyradex · 2016-10-10T21:30:31+00:00

Guy here, so grain of salt advice: The best relationship in my life, with a lady who was very redpill-wife type (she passed) was amazing with this.

A few things.... don't make this a big deal. Don't guilt him for not running with you if you suck, believe it or not, most of us -hate- failing in games due to bads and it can lead to some real tension.

She knew she wasn't on the level to play.... so she would watch and cheer me on, taking the time on her own to learn the details and challenges, instead of being the typical "omg pay attention to me wtf" female.

She would -actually- cheer me on, which made me feel 10 times the pleasure when succeeding over challenging content. She'd give me random blowjobs while I gamed, would make easy to eat snacks during 'raid times' that just constantly reminded me how exceptional she was compared to your average modern female.

She'd even developed a drinking game for one I played, pouring us both shots and calling out drink points as I'd score a certain type of Pvp kill, and would discard clothing for certain select actions. She always went out of her way to have fantastic underwear/sexy clothing on for times like this.

The result of all these actions was that I generally spent waaaaaay less time on the game and was touched to the core at the effort and mind blowing awesomeness of her. And her mid-game blowjobs.

She proved and showed that she was truly just happy to be around me, a feeling I've honestly never gotten the same level of since, from any of my relationships over the years.

One I'll never forget was during a competitive combat game, she came in, dropped down and went to town. I was wrecking the field but getting rather... panting in my breathing. My team over comms asked what the hell I was doing. She poped up with a gamine grin and said "what the hell do you guys think he's doing?"

This was followed by the entire team crying out in unison "ohhhhhh shit!". It's still a fun memory to me. Not one of our most important ones, not even in the ranking, actually, but important to me for how hard she worked to show that she just wanted me happy, period.

Behavior that made me determined to return the favor, which I did for as long as she lived.

Again, everything is subjective, and male opinion here, but maybe my good memories in a similar situation may help.

My biggest piece of advice I can give is to stop seeing yourself in competition with a game and start trying to ensure your husband is happy. We reward that. We shut down and draw father away when encountering the flip side of nagging, tantrums and ultimatums.

Jm2c

PantheraTigris95 · 2016-10-10T18:20:20+00:00

Just a suggestion - you brought the subject up with you, but did you expressly say that it makes you feel useless? He could very well be thinking that you just don't like him playing them so much, not that you feel like you're being replaced.

Maybe suggest other stress-relieving things out of the house so there's no way games can be a distraction. Once he sees how fun bowling/eating/going to a movie/taking a zumba class/whatever is with you, maybe the games will take a back seat.

slintas · 2016-10-10T20:13:40+00:00

I would like to give you my thoughts on the topic.

You seem to be nice and treat him well. From your description of him it seems that he is good for you. Now while at work especially high end stressful jobs he has no time to just relax with a friend. We really need some time to spend with our friends whether that time is spent bowling, watching a movie or playing computer games is irrelevant. Now more specificly on video games, what most of us like about them is the challenge. There are some insanely hard games that require your full attention and group effort which we normally do with our friends and have some "men time", also the fact that some of these games are so intense helps to block out everything else and completely relieve stress. Games are simply a tool to solve difficult puzzles, push our reflexes to the absolute, split second decision making so on and so forth. You on the other hand provide him with love and compasion which are irreplaceable but when he needs to play with friends it doesn't mean he is putting you in a second seat. He simply needs something that you don't provide and you were never meant to provide in the first place. My suggestion would be that you relax, also PumpkinSummer gave you a nice approach. I'd like to add that the fact you were willing to try your hand on the game just to spend more time with him is not something that he doesn't appreciate, BUT let him have some things in his life that you are not a part of just like you. If possible please tell me what game is he playing? By it's type I can probably guess for how long he ll be playing it. Hope everything works out and you keep on having a great and happy relationship.

Mentathiel · 2016-10-11T16:42:18+00:00

Is it Legion? If it's Legion give it half a year. Seriously, do it. You wouldn't believe what WoW means to those who were with it since the start, who've poured hundreds of hours into it, who've met a lot of friends and spent a lot of their youth with it. You just can't not empathize with their fascination. But new expansions really only keep the players engaged 6 months tops, after which the nostalgia is gone and they go back to bashing it. XD

If it's a MOBA game, try and get him away. As someone who's had their periods of being really hooked to MOBA games, I confirm that I wish somebody got me away. They're nice for occasional playing, but awful as an obsession. They mostly frustrate you.

Otherwise, if it's really bothering you, try talking to him and giving him time to play it, but perhaps asking him to devote one night a week to you (no technology). Tell him you feel needy, but you don't want to be pushy and annoying and that if you could just have that you wouldn't bother him. And then don't.

If you're bad at the game, don't play with him unless he's willing to coach you. If he's playing with friends to finish missions and you're the weak link, remove yourself unless called upon or practice alone. In my experience, other players are mostly always willing to coach you because it's always more fun to play with others if there's no more people. If they've already got company, they'll prefer quality of game over quantity of people. It also depends on the type of game and how competitive they are as a person and other factors, but as a general rule, y'know.

Also, consider if he's getting enough time with friends. Maybe he just wants to retreat to some time with them. If so, perhaps encourage him to meet up. Playing games is great, but replacing direct interaction by them entirely can be unhealthy.

WaterCraftMaster · 2016-10-19T05:14:42+00:00

Hardcore gaming guy here. Some games can be extremely absorbing, and long term in nature. Games can suck you in. If he is a hardcore gamer, or has playing for a long time, this will be normal for him, and likely a passion.

Id urge you to have as much patience as you can, for a hardcore gamer, you don't play an hour, you get absorbed into these games for 10 hours in a row, non-stop.

In time, his interest in the game will wane, a new game may pop up eventually though.

Once a gamer, always a gamer. This could be a bit of an hobby/passion for him. It would behoove you to try to accept that. But I don't blame you for wanting more attention, I know how it feels to hang with someone playing a video game, they get lost it in for hours, and don't interact with you much.

Perhaps find a game to play with him outside of video games... cards, chess, checkers, monopoly.... You both can play that, and it will ease his gaming urge,, give you both something to do, and you can springboard that into interesting conversations or other plans.

Having interesting alternatives, social ones, high energy ones, can be a good way to get a video gamer to feel the craving for more of that real life social interaction, thus pulling them out of a gamming fix.

Video games are often highlighted as a point of tension in dating, with the males, usually, spending lots of time on it, and the girlfriend not liking it. Proceed with a degree of caution, consider both of your needs desires, accept, deny, compromise, etc..

ta-16 · 2016-10-11T18:23:17+00:00

I think it shouldn't be a hard choice here: choose me or computer games. You are not a computer game, so you can't give him what he wanted in this regard; a computer game is not you, so it can't give him what you can. A healthy time distribution is perhaps better: a sane amount of time spent playing the video game, while you both get to be together, too, afterwards or beforehand. Edit: if it bothers you, maybe you've got to discuss it with him?

To me, it seems, computer games are usually a tough topic. Most of my female acquaintances, for example, not understanding the appeal at all, chuckle at the mention of video games, et cetera, as if it's something I should be ashamed of doing.

Title	Video Games
Author	Flashover-Fighter
Upvotes	17
Comments	30
Date	October 10, 2016 4:28 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/56su3n/video_games/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/video-games.86544 https://theredarchive.com/post/86544

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