Hi everyone! I've been going through archives here on LTR's, and would like some advice/ clarity on how to handle when BF/ GF timelines are not in sync. This comment in a previous post regarding ultimatums was beneficial, and I'd like to see how I can expand on this to apply it to my LTR:

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/qv09zm/making_an_ultimatum/hkyeqb8?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

F(43) and M(43) together 2+ years and live seperatly. My bf has brought up that he would like to move into my apartment, and rent out his home fully to tenants. Aside from the odd few nights, he has been fully living at my apartment for 6+ months of his own accord, and I'm over the moon with joy that he wants us to officially move in together. He has also stated several times that he plans on marrying me; that it's not something he needs but understands it is important to me. He said he's actually excited because he NEVER thought he would marry anyone (he has also never lived with a gf before, nor roommates).

After my last relationship ended (where I moved across the country into the ex's home) and I came back to my original city, I made a promise to myself that I would not join move in with another bf unless I knew for certain we were committed to LTR and marriage. Marriage in and if itself has never been a "goal" of mine, but I've remained open to it and absolutely desire it with my current BF. He is truly "the one".

My boundary of only living together when married was set in order to protect myself from the heartache of uprooting/ dismantling my entire life again on someone who ultimately wasn't the best fit, not as a way to have an ultimatum or specifically gain marriage.

So I was surprised the other day when my bf brought up how he'd love to rent out his house (yay!) and officially move into my place (yay again!). However, he then went on to say his ideal marriage timeframe is "a couple years from now" (2-3 yrs, not feeling very yay). And this has me confused, discouraged, and unsure how to proceed.

When I asked him about his timeframe and why so far into the future, he says he feels things are a bit stressful and unstable with his job and finances, and that he wants to save up money for a beautiful ring. Which I fully understand, but I guess I'm worried the marriage might never happen if we do it this way. I'd be happy to marry him tomorrow and have a little promise ring (I told him this) until he is is financially organized, but he seemed to think that was silly.

Taking the advice from the post I linked above, what is the best way to navigate our goals and timeframes? He wants to move in very soon with me, but wait a couple years for marriage. I want to live together within being married. I love him so much that I'd never leave him over this, but I anticipate I would feel disappointed and somewhat unfulfilled by changing my boundary to accommodate him. (If you have seen my previous post on the Hall-Pass conversation, I'm already hugely modifying my boundaries on monogamy so that he can feel fulfilled as a man, and also to show reciprocity to him due to my job).

Thanks for reading, and appreciate any feedback.