TLDR: After a man establishes his value to a girl, being different and unpredictable helps a lot to seal the deal

Story Time: Last Thursday I went to a new place for a haircut because my old barber moved about 2,500 miles away. I had to attend a wedding on Saturday night and desperately needed a trim, so I took whatever appointment was available. Turns out it was with a woman who is by anyone's standards a solid 7, and was my type to a T, so I'd give her an 8.

Background on me: I'm lean and extremely youthful looking for my age. I'm 27 and still get asked for identification at some places; it's the super high cheekbones. For reference, I'm built slightly like the actor Aaron Paul (Jesse from Breaking Bad).

Given these physical traits, women are often comfortable around me, but if I don't hold frame or show value quickly, I'll get passed over for much bigger Chad right quick.

Anyhow, I go to the appointment after work (In NYC), so I'm in a button down shirt and nice pair of pants. We'll call the hairstylist Jackie. Jackie asks how my day is, and I think she's trying to decide if I'm a local intern or a big boy worker. I can sense some potential attraction so I try to establish frame quickly: I happen to work for a consulting firm, and tell her some presentation I put on for the client earlier in the day.

Of course she's slightly more interested now - I'm a decent looking guy, and now she knows I'm not pimple-faced frat boy working for daddy's PE firm for the summer.

This is where I implement what I consider to be the lesson of this story: Now that value is established and she knows I have a job of some societally perceived status, I use the next part of the conversation to avoid being that guy; that guy that only talks about work, his coworkers, his promotions, basically doing everything but telling the woman yeah I make a lot of money, therefore you should sleep with me. Instead, I try to be a little unpredictable and quirky.

Jackie asks how the rest of my day went, which I assume is typical hairstylist talk. I mention to her that I did a fair amount of research, out of boredom and curiosity, on ice-cream men and how to own an ice cream truck (which is true, only that I did it over the weekend instead). She is taken off guard...I'm sure she expected her new client (me) - likely as most of her corporate clients do - to talk about work, or what awesome connections I have in the city (I don't...I have exactly zero connections). But instead, I tell her that North Jersey has approximately 4x more licensed ice cream trucks than the average city.

So for the rest of cut we talked about ice cream, and pretend plans to drive an ice cream truck together if our respective careers didn't pan out.

Her final remark was: "it's been so long since I've actually gotten ice cream". So I got her phone number (absolutely stab in the dark that she was single; she actually gave a good cut, making it a riskier move), promised we would get ice cream while intoxicated, and then proceeded to do so last night...she stayed the night and that was that.

Lessons

  • Capitalize on luck - a lot of things had to fall correctly for this to occur; Jackie had to be attractive, single (I suppose not, but it helps), and ask about my day. When life helps you out, capitalize on that shit.

  • Establish value, then be unpredictable - This could manifest itself in a bunch of social settings. But if I was some unemployed guy shedding insight on the ice cream truck industry, Jackie would think I'm a weirdo. Of course, this harps back to the fact that valuable, attractive people are seen in the best light regarding everything. But I suggest trying to be creative with this - dividends it might pay. Now, is talking about ice cream the most off-the-wall unpredictable thing ever? No. But I'd say it's more memorable and unique than the average conversation.

  • Adding to the last point, learn interesting things - read books, listen to podcasts, travel to weird, underrated cities, get a hobby. Combining traditionally valuable features (like having a good job or dressing nice) with quirky lifestyles and nuggets of knowledge makes you much more desirable in my opinion.

  • Only give a little - when a woman finds out that you have something - anything really - of value, she wants it more than anything else in the world. If you have a good job and that's all you got going for you, hint at it, then lock it away in the conversational closet. Keep her guessing. If you are built like a Greek God, wear a slimmer fitting shirt, but leave the rest to the woman's imagination. Women can sense try-hards, so find the balance between expressing value and maintaining mystery.

The ultimate question to this FR: Could I have said anything after establishing value to seal the deal? Eh, likely yes. But I truly believe talking about something atypical made everything more fluid and much easier to develop a connection leading to something more.