Why is paying always considered beta?

Printing_Stems · 2017-04-02T21:48:14+00:00

In my view, it's not the act of paying that is Beta, it's the subtle power play every time paying comes up that is a missed opportunity if you don't at least acknowledge it is your choice whether you pay, she pays or you split.

Example: You are on a "regular" date, dinner, check comes. She says nothing.
Neutral response: you pay and say nothing about it, continue conversation Beta response: you pay and look for approval from her because you provided OR you ask her to pay when she has not offered Alpha response: "I'll pay for this, don't worry about it. You can get drinks later."

Peter_B_Long · 2017-04-02T20:37:45+00:00

Paying for the first date or every date makes you seem like beta bucks.

We suggest you don't pay for the girl because if she is genuinely attracted to you, she will be ok with splitting the bill, or paying for everything in some cases.

It is okay with paying for the date if it's long term. You want to display 80% alpha / 20% beta if you want to keep her around.

It sounds like you have an attitude that you can have any girl you want and have her do anything for you. You have good abundance mentality and you sound like you're very aloof.

If paying for the bill is the only beta thing you're doing, it actually works for your favor, because it makes the girl want to keep you around and lock you down.

Guys who are 100% alpha and really just don't give a fuck will only have one night stands and will have a hard time keeping a girl around.

RedSkeller · 2017-04-02T22:11:33+00:00

It's beta because it's an old system that is no longer viable. Males had resources - more access and greater amounts then women. Women now have equal access so value dropped, now men just need to show up and be attractive to provide security among the sea of amorphous trans-gendered fat sacks.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-04-02T22:23:09+00:00

You're rich and maybe decently attractive. That's 2 out of 3, with the 3rd one being good game. I don't see where you're lost here. You're like the average Chad who's got money.

failingtheturingtest · 2017-04-03T00:04:48+00:00

It's one of those dogmatic approaches that is used to snap those who tend to end up in orbit of sheilas rather than those that are naturally successful.
Too many blokes end up here that are trapped in the cycle of giving all their time, attention, money, commitment, etc. in the hopes that soon she we realise how awesome he is and he'll get to touch lady bits.
Once you have your shit in order, really have a abundance and aren't so caught up in doing what society has told you is the 'right' way to court women, you can look at most of the dogmatic approaches for which TRP advocates and decide if they work for you in this situation or not.
Sounds like you're just a little more natural and therefore some of this won't be needed. Remember the rule, know why you are allowed to break it, and notice if you are every doing it for the wrong reasons and you'll be fine.

walawalawa · 2017-04-03T00:13:22+00:00

It's not so much "paying" as it is "mindset".

I sometimes pay only because I feel like it and splitting something so small is kind of a waste of time. if the girl offers I accept.

However....this shouldn't be a regular thing.

The mindset is if you're paying with an expectation....it's beta. If you're paying and just covering it because...it's ok, that's different.

Or I'll say "I'll get dinner, you get drinks". Decent girls are usually honourable in that way.

Paying all the time...I just did that with a girl who never seemed to have money. She didn't appreciate it.

i did make her pay or to work for things and she would try to find ways to pay me back: cooking for me, etc.

But it was a source of tension when a girl never has money.

I have plates who buy me things and won't accept pay back for them. A girl ordered me something from eBay. She wouldn't accept payment because the amount was so small ($20).

Think mindset....and expectation.

If you "Feel" like you're being tooled...it's beta. If you think "Myeh, why fuck around for $20"...it's not beta.

Shukakun · 2017-04-03T03:28:21+00:00

Women are like cats. Having one is fine. Having it live in your house is fine. Feeding it is fine. Just be prepared for the possibility that it runs away, and for the love of god, don't keep a pet that is going to cost you more than 5% of your spending money. Having a spoiled girl who expects you to buy her $200 shoes every month is fine, if you have $4000 or more to spend frivolously.

redditatt · 2017-04-03T03:44:21+00:00

It's more about how you pay; just don't make a big deal about it. I almost always pay, but i hand my card to the wait staff before we even sit down. That way when the check comes i just sign and it's done. She'll say"thank you", and i'll say something cockyfunny like "i pay now, you pay later" (smirking).

Pitchfork51 · 2017-04-03T20:01:21+00:00

It's the same as having girl friends. It's discouraged on here because we're trying to snap people out of being beta orbiting vaginas.

Once you aren't a BOV then sure you can take a chick out and pay or be friends with females. But you have frame at this point and you are just doing normal nice stuff because you want to and you are leading and being a man, not for nefarious reasons.

Title	Why is paying always considered beta?
Author	kayerl
Upvotes	4
Comments	22
Date	April 2, 2017 8:13 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/631xtu/why_is_paying_always_considered_beta/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/why-is-paying-always-considered-beta.88806 https://theredarchive.com/post/88806

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